folder 22 - 030
The fact that after 4 1/2 years of strenuous exegesis, whereupon I have reached these conclusions (not to mention 27 years of published writing) I now find myself being signalled to die - which effectively makes it impossible for me to put this Gnosis in a form which I can publish - is a condition which can be deduced from my Exegesis itself, + shows I'm on the right intellectual path, but to no avail. I am not extricated by my Exegesis but by Zebra (Christ) back in 2-3-74. The Exegesis would have provided the basis for a broad, explicated formulation to sow broadcast, but of course this can never come about; these insights will die with me. All I have is a three folder high stack of chicken-scratchings of no use to anyone else, as K.W. tirelessly points out. To heap the burning coals of anti-meaning on me, I also have a lot of money for the only time in my life, but with no use to which I can care to put it. My personal attack - war - against anti-meaning (by means of my mind) has gone the way of our collective primordial defeat at the hands - I should say Quasi-Mind - of the Maze; I merely recapitulate the ancient, original losing by mind in this exquisitely sophisticated board game which we so cunningly devised for our delectation. This past time is once more the death of one of us - but this time I am, entirely through Christ, extricated - "taken out of this world." I did not win; Christ won me for his own, so vis-a-vis me alone the Maze as always won, + I did not realize this, naturally, until it was too late to retreat back out intact. Omnial via ad mitis.
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Wilson is a good find, but it looks like there is a mistake in the transcription. To me it looks like PKD has written "K.W.", not "RAW", thus referring to K.W. Jeter.