So there is a striking parallel -a logical, structural parallel- between 3-74 + 11-17-80, but in another, more profound respect the two are mirror opposites - since the first is a vision of world (which I thought was God, yet it was not, + so it yielded no knowledge directly about God, but only inferential knowledge that he existed + that he had saved me - in pronoia) + the second is a genuine theophany. When one realizes that world + God are wholly other to each other (Satan rules world) then this mirror opposite situation can be appreciated. Let me add, too, that total revelation about world does not yield knowledge of God. God entered when I became aware that my theorizing was carrying me into an infinite regress, which is to say, when I became exhausted - at which point enantiodromia occurred; intellect had proven futile + yet, paradoxically, it had led to God - but due to God's volitional initiative. His (as I call it) taking the field, which is an inbreaking by the divine.
The circumstances under which the theophany occurred (I gave up on the exegesis + kicked back + massively turned on) are not capricious causes but follow the logic of the dialectic along several axes. This shows the hauntingly eerie paradoxical (almost seemingly whimsical or playful) nature of enlightenment: it comes to you only when you cease to pursue it, when you totally + finally give up.