folder 22 - 031
In a sense my 4 1/2 years of exegesis can be regarded as a further successful stategem by the Maze, in opposition to the Gnosis crossbonded onto me in (3-74) which at that time gave me life - I gave up that life via my compulsion to relentlessly exegete. But I see one further irony - one which amuses me (my only exit from this trap): here is additional proof of the quality (success) of our original craftsmanship, so this final (?) victory of the Maze over me, despite Zebra (Christ) is in a paradoxical way my victory as a creative artist. (The Maze regarded as our work of art). After all, the Maze is a product of our minds. If the Maze wins, our minds win (are proven). If, upon entering the Maze, we out-think it, again our minds win. Ambiguity is involved in either outcome (this may be the puzzling dialectic revealed to me in 3-74.
In fact, maybe in my 27 years of writing I outwitted the Maze - as witness the 3 Bantam Novels, "Tears," + "Scanner." Speaking about me personally, I won in pitting myself intellectually against the Maze; I figured its nature out - in which case 3-74 was the jackpot payoff reward, the revelation you get for so doing.
This puts a somewhat different light on Zebra. What I'm saying here is that the Game is so constructed that you wander around in the Maze interminably until you figure it out, + then as a culmination of the intellectual deciphering process you get told, "yes you are right about
1. In fake time
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