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Reach into my col. unconsc. for new potentialities, & establish a broader, non-delusional personality on a more viable basis. So for months (this took eleven months to complete) I lived in the magic world of the col. uncon & its {{contents}}.

All of the above is true. When I read "North by Northwest" I suddenly could recall the paranoia world I had been "inhabiting" prior to my phonecall to the Bureau on 3/20/74. I used to live in the world of this screenplay. That is why I was constantly afraid (esp. at night): I feared "they" would break in & get me. What I did was incredible: I turned toward the group I believed was persecuting me for help. {{i.e.}} I converted my fear & hate & suspicion into "love," so to speak. I loved them; they ceased to be alien, hostile strangers & became (in my mind) needed, supportive father-figure friends.

Criticism of the above.
true paranoid dynamisms are too rigid & {{persevering}} for this about-face (in my attitudes) to occur.
My vertigo anxieties continued.
I suspected the {{cp}} after that as greatly, & hated them as greatly, as I had the Bureau; i.e. I kept the dynamism but changed only the "names" -- i.e. cognition of their identity. So I got no better. The paranoia dynamism remained intact -- in fact its expectations were fulfilled.

So: corrected theory:
I delusionally believed myself persecuted, by the US government: i.e. "conspicuous" to them. But suddenly in 3-74 I got the shock of my psychological life. There was a conspiracy against me -- but not by them! A reality resembling the delusional system – but in certain crucial aspects different -- manifested itself in actuality & replaced (both confirmed & competed/conflicted with) the delusional system. Reality replaced fantasy. I had simultaneously been right – & wrong. This expected/unexpected external manifestation-{{crisis}} caused an enormous

Page Notes

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In this context he considers his concern about the FBI as a paranoid delusion. It is rather interesting to note- and he seems to miss this- that John Dowland, whom Dick referenced often in his work, also behaved in a startlingly similar way in that he wrote the authorities due to his concerns about their suspicions of him. Are there any references to Dowland's letters to Queen Elizabeth's agents in the rest of the Exegesis?