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32 page 11


which in pulling apart consign some of us to one, some of us to another. In that case the Great Assize is taking place or will be; probably has already begun. This brings me to my theory of orthogonal time as I discussed it in my Metz speech. What normally are post partem experiences happened to me in (3-74), lasting almost a year. As soon as you have anyone, even one single person, experiencing post partem reality before death you know, you can be positive, that the eschotological fulfillment Parousia has begun; the Apocalypse is here indeed: Christ said that the Kingdom would begin, like a mustard seed, as very small; it would enter the world virtually unnoticed, and then grow to infinite size ("until birds can roost in it"). The mystery and miracle of that kingdom, beginning as the smallest of the small but stealthily growing -- where? Among us? In us? In this world but not part of this world -- it is still a mystery to me, bringing me to the point I made in a previous note, that we must deal at least with something which simultaneously is and is not. The Parousia has come and yet it has not come; I must realize that. Only the vigilant will see it -- do see it. I saw it. I am a witness to it, as I am a witness to the reality of the Holy Spirit and the Cosmic Christ and to God's intervention in history. These 10 pages of notes return me finally to my first sentence: I see that by seizing me the Holy Spirit caused a playing out to the end, for me, of linear time, so that for me the End Days came, and all the events (including the Great Assize) took place during my lifetime. If it could not occur during my lifetime, and when I saw the golden fish I knew that this was really apostolic times, AD 70 not AD 1974 -- the prophecy, "Some of you will still be alive when the Kingdom comes, when Christ returns" -- that promise has proved true. I am still alive, and witnessed --experienced-- it. Other people did not. But they do not remember; I experienced anamnesis, the necessary condition for experiencing the reality of the Kingdom. Anamnesis and salvific knowledge are one and the same: what is remembered is our divine origin, and what is comprehended is that we will return to our lost home, as part of the True Vine.

As time passes I tend to evaluate the perception of Zebra as the greatest miracle of all, overshadowing the gnosis -- which is to say: the perception of the actual Presence of the Deity must of necessity impinge above all that is merely understood or known. "Oh, that I might come before His presence," to quote from "Elijah." Jesus said, "No one has seen the Father but me." He did not say that no one would ever see God. If indeed what I call VALIS or Zebra is God, then -- as in the dream in TEARS the barrier between realities has been shattered and the godless cosmos has been invaded (as Palmer Eldritch invaded Earth both externally, in others, and internally as well) -- the cosmos which I deem to have been built by a sick god and to have lacked the Real presence -- that cosmos, as in STIGMATA, has been transubstantiated. The entire world is now what is called the Temple, which means all of us and each of us. And our world has been replaced by the One saying of HImself, "I am He Who causes to be." It is accomplished. Or begun.

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