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So I wind up knowing a lot more about world - world as we will later experience it, the world-experience of the future; + I no longer suppose that I was discerning God, + realize that I was discerning world instead; + I was at last led to God, but not by my intellect, not by Gnosis, not by myself at all; it was due to God's initiative, due to his loving-kindness; + what was proved was (once again) that all roads/ways/routes if pushed far enough lead to God. Hence (as I say) here is an example of how God the wise horn of the dialectic defeats its stupider foe inevitably in the end - this was an enantiodromia. It occurred when I realized that all that I had seen of God in 2-3-74 was a glint of color + a ripple of wind in the weeds of the alley, acting on reality; that Valis was not God but rather world ("the reality field") perturbed (from beyond creation) by God; but this did not yield knowledge of God direct, but only by inference; + that in fact 2-3-74 was not a theophany, but was a more sophisticated experience of world: creation pulled through infinity by reaching the end of (exhausting) its creative/entropic "splitting" (disintegrating; differentiating) dialectic process: entropic time converted into negentropic time. But this was still world, + Satan caused me to worship it... to fall victim to it, ensnared by it, taking it to be God; until I found that I had pushed my exegesis to infinity without result! + then I focussed

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