It is simply extraordinary that amid all my confusion I went on and wrote "DI" as the sequel to "Valis" & explicitly declared Valis to be the God of Moses: YHWH, for in "Valis" this is neither stipulated nor even speculated about. In fact, YHWH is defamed -- bipolarized to the Logos: stated to be irrational. But what comes of this, finally? Not Gnosticism at all, but a presentation of the vast Dialectic within God that Boehme & Schelling & Whitehead speak of -- that Tillich fears so important in the understanding of God as he really is.
It is simply impossible, what I've done -- experienced the God of Moses, which involved me in madness & brought me to the verge of physical death, survived & wrote about it.
Now, I ask why this theophany? Pronoia was indubitably a major factor. However, the material in "Tears" indicates strongly that my writing is a factor. I did manage to write it up - one must include all three volumes of the Valis trilogy, here. Also, I have sought to write about God for years (this especially includes "Stigmata" in which I encounter the demonic side of God).
"Valis" is a very Great Book. & the inchoate quality only points to the veracity & the power of the vision (experience) on which it is based -- as John Clute so clearly recognized! All the side-trips, all the speculative & theoretical excursions, the asides, etc. in "Valis" only make it more convincing, more real. (as Art Spiegelman realized: that I neither know what in fact happened nor presume to say.) Clearly, all this happened, & clearly it almost destroyed & consumed me, & yet like Horselover Fat or
As Horselover Fat I survived, secure in my faith, keeping awake for the Savior who I know is soon coming, and may already be here. I have known the terrible side of God. But it was not Directed at me; it passed through me and possessed me to both reveal and defend: God as my strength and source, God knowing absolutely and Destroying, But not destroying me but for me. YHWH, the God of Moses, broke out in me and in "Valis" speaking as & by & in Sophia he warns the regime.
Valis was YHWH. The AI voice is Ruah. Ruah is the spirit of God. Therefore the AI voice is YHWH speaking to me. therefore the AI voice is Valis speaking to me. This seems never to have occurred to me before.
& then, too, as regards "Valis" dealing with YHWH (or as it is said, "the Godhead"), as I realized the other day, the Dialectic that Boehme experienced as the dynamic inner life of God - this dialectic is the whole theological basis of "Valis" even though it is put forth as a dialectic between two Gods: the irrational creation God vs. the rational Logos that enters the scene -invades as it were- and converts all, assimilates all to itself and triumphs. this is precisely Boehme's and Schelling's dialectic - this is Whitehead's process theology and only ostensibly seems to be Gnosticism. For the dramatic purposes and framework of the book this inner Dialectic would have to be put forth this way: externalized onto and into the world-stage.