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+ space forever, even when I returned to it. It was like the startle-response I had in the dream where the washerwoman presented me with the laundered patriotic trophy: the fight was over + I had won - doomed, so to speak, to win, + not based on any merit, good deed or act on my part; I had been extricated + placed in safety, the the battle was over with me safe (Saved). That trophy meant: the books are closed - + they were because of Christ + only because of Christ (my salvation had very practical consequences). This is what he has the power + authority to do - to end the battle in victory, extrication, salvation, + close the books forever. Adjudication, on/for me, regarding me, had been rendered - absolute, final + perfect adjudication. He acted -not only as savior- but as judge, final judge; the power + authority was vested in him by the Father, + in my case -regarding me- he exercised it (cf the E[...] on this aspect of Xtianity: the closing of the books on a person forever, in this life one way or the other, as with Ma'at after death). The masks (in the Canadian dream about Kathy) were removed when I saw the Golden Fish + knew in the blink of an eye, totally, what it was all about - + always had been. The "game" was over for me. + then in 3-74 I saw him i.e. Zebra: the divine macro plasmate, melting reality: it was all revealed to me, his presence + power + the vortex of authority: the creator + Noos (in the sense of Xenophanes).


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What I have not taken into account all this time is Christ as Judge, rather than simply Savior, my Savior. Now, at last, due to last night, I understand the absolute role of Christ Pantocrator: Judge + Lord of creation. He has the authority to judge +, as Zebra, is lord of the universe; it is his, just as I am his: I experienced him in 3 roles: Judge, Lord + Savior. The basis of his judgment will always be unknown to me - there flashes in my mind my experience with the beetle in Washington DC when I was a child, + the love + mercy I felt for it; maybe that was the act on my part which redeemed me; it's as good as any. As I showed love for that beetle, so He showed mercy + love for me, + extricated me when I was being tormented decades later. The child saved the later man, then; I sealed my fate... On such bases fates are sealed: the books are closed; + yet it was Christ who gave me understanding at that time of what I was doing + that it was wrong; I knew remorse, absolute remorse, in that instant I knew it all! I know nothing now I didn't know in that instant. I spared creation in microform in the thirties, + in the seventies it rushed furiously back to save me, returned to do for me what I had tried to do for it, all the force of my feelings then had traveled all around the globe of the universe, +, magnified into the macro, rushed furiously back to save me,


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in return; I:beetle, Christ:me. Why not? Why look further, deeper, searching for greater complexities? (It is something like Karma, a Xtian kind of Karma: in this life.) This may be why the 3-74 visions seemed to me to be an answer or answer to a question or questions, which I had asked a long time ago, at last arriving, having traveled millions of miles + many years. Maybe the beetle had offered up a preyer of thanks which was heard by the macrocosm; my divine nature began to return that day, with that insight: the curse began on that day to lift - the process started, + culminated in 2-3/74! Began as small as a mustard seed + grew at last into a kingdom. In that situation with the beetle my relationship to the universe changed + never changed back. ___ The realization of Christ as judge: it fits in with my basic + underlying sense of the universe (or reality, the hologram, world) being a teaching machine, presenting us with lessons to learn, it is obvious that finally some judge must decide if we learned or did not learn - failed or did not fail! This is the great assize; this is adjudication. It fits together. Then I can believe that whatever I was supposed to learn I did learn; I did not fail, + so was chosen by the Good Shepherd. So there is justice -divine justice- in the universe, but its dimensions are so vast, so much is taken into consideration, that we can't see its shape. But it is there. It works on too vast + complex a scale for our minds to fathom.


20 - Notes

{1} October 10, 1978 Kerygma at this point: We created a fake world, went down into it voluntarily, and voluntarily shed our memories, and canâ??t get back out, but would like to. However, foreseeing this, we providentially laid down clues in advance, to remind us, when the going got too tough. These reminders would not only restore our memories of identity but also our powers, which we voluntarily let get occluded. Thus we descended into difficulties but not into a closed trap. We were brave, and willing to suffer, but not foolish. Perhaps we made an intellectual error in taking this delusional world for real, or deciding to take it for real; in any case we were smart enough to set the machinery for automatic extrication. Our motive for descending could be that we would not force our creatures to endure anything we would not endure. And for us to endure it we would have to strip ourselves of memory and supernatural (divine) faculties, and be like our creatures in every way â?? except that our reminder-clues would eventually start the extricating process, given enough time. I cannot believe that we made a moral error; i.e. sinned and were expelled from the gardenland, exiled to the prison, by our own creator. How could the creator occlude us, exile us, place us in the prison? How could he be responsible for taking the garden away from us? I do not believe it. Somehow we got trapped by the prison; i.e. trapped by the narrow, dark world, under the vast, light-filled garden. After much thought I am convinced that we chose to get trapped, although by setting up clues to remind us we kept it from being a trap. It is a prison with a door which we carefully left open by which to make our escape. The Savior is our own undescended self, our own unexiled and unoccluded self; i.e. our pristine self. We are all the parties involved: the creator, the master magician who rules this prison realm, the savior. We are the creatures to be saved. Tat tvam asi, is what I say. The fact that we are in a prison does not prove that we made a moral error. That is faulty reasoning, occlude reasoning â?? typically occluded reasoning. I admit that we may have originally made an epistemological error in taking this realm to be real, which it is not. But final analysis I think it was a deliberate choice. Therefore we have this consolation: our suffering was voluntarily assumed. I have evidence of the reminder-clues; this evidence serves then as evidence of a voluntary coming here, and a foreknowing of the problems involved, the possibility of getting stuck and needing an automatic way back out. I reason back from the clues to the original situation: inductive reasoning but still convincing to me. Had it been an accidental or involuntary â??intellectual errorâ? would those reminder-clues have been set up beforehand? {2} â??the first book of Adam and Eveâ? â??â?Š and God commanded him [Adam] to dwell there in a cave in a rock â?? the cave of treason {treasure?}; below the garden. â??â?Š and as they came to [the cave of {treasures}] Adam wept over himself and said to Eve, â??Look at this cave that is to be our prison in this world, and a place of punishment: What is it compared with the Garden? What is its narrowness compared with the space of the other? What is this rock, by the side of those groves? What is the gloom of this cavern, compared with the light of the garden? What is this overhanging ledge of rock to shelter us, compared with the mercy of the Lord that overshadowed us? What is the soil of this cave compared with the garden-land? This earth, strewed with stones, and that, planted with delicious fruit trees?â?? And Adam said to Eve, â??Look at thine eyes, and at mine, which afore beheld angels in heaven, praising; and they, too, without ceasing. But now we do not see as we did: our eyes have become flesh; they cannot see in like manner as they saw before.â?? And Adam said again to Eve, â??What is our body today, compared to what it was in former days, when we dwelt in the Garden?â?? After this Adam did not like to enter the cave, under the overhanging rock, nor would he ever have entered it. But he bowed to Godâ??s orders; and said to himself,

{2} â??Unless I enter the cave, I shall again be a transgressor.â?? â??Adam raised his eyes, and saw the rock on the roof of the cave that covered him overhead so that he could see neither heaven, nor Godâ??s creatures. So he weptâ?Šâ? â??and the Lord said unto Adam and Eve, â??You transgressed of your own free will, until you came out of the garden in which I had placed you of your own free will you transgressed through your desire for divinity, greatness, and an exalted state, such as I have; so that I deprived you of the bright nature in which you there were, and I made you come out of the garden to this land rough and full of trouble.â?? â??Then Adam wept and said, â??O God, when we dwell in the garden, and our hearts were lifted up, we saw the angels that sang praises in heaven, but now we do not see as we were used to do; now when we entered the cave, all creation be {page becomes diagonal and much of it is unreadable due to a poor scan}

{4} Will bring thee back into the garden, thee and thy righteous seed.â?? And God ceased to communicate with Adam. â??[They] came and entered the cave of treasures but when in it Adam could not see Eve, he only heard the noise she made. Neither could she see Adam, but heard the noise he made. â??[He] said to Eve, â??Where art thou?â?? and she said unto him, â??Lo, I am standing in this darkness.â?? He then said to her, â??remember the bright nature in which we lived, when we abode in the garden? O Eve! Remember the glory that rested on us in the Garden, o Eve!~ remember the trees that overshadowed us in the garden while we moved among them o Eve! Remember that while we were in the garden, we knew neither night nor day. Think of the tree of life from below which flowed the water, and that shed luster over us! Remember, o eve, the garden-land, and the brightness thereof! Think, oh think of that garden in which was no darkness, while we dwelt there in whereas no sooner did we come into this cave of treasures than darkness composed all round about; until we could no longer see each other; and all the pleasure of this life has come to an end. â??â??For I [God] made thee of the light, and I willed to bring out children of light from thee and like unto thee. But though didst not heed one day my commandment.

{5} â??â??â?Šuntil the fulfillment of my covenant; where I will save thee and bring thee back again into the Garden, into the abode of light which these longest for, wherein is no darkness. I will bring thee to it â?? in the kingdom of heavenâ?Š all this misery that thou hast been made to take upon thee because of thy transgression, {?} not free thee from the hand of Satan, and will not save thee. But I will. When I shall come down from heaven, and shall become flesh of thy seed, and take upon me the infirmity from which thou sufferest, then the darkness that came upon thee is this cave shall come upon me in the grave, when I am the flesh at thy seed. And I, who am without years, shall be subject to the {reckoning} of the years, of times of months, and of days, and I shall be reckoned as me of the sons of men, in order to save them. Thus the occlusion of faculties, but the promise of restoration, back to the garden, which is the kingdom. It is specifically said, we are now in a dark prison which is small â?? and the garden was vast (of my sense of augmented space in 3-74, as well as my perception that we were living in a prison; and then eleven months later I was briefly in the garden) so small dark prison and perceptual occlusion vs vast garden of light and full perception: 1) Bip vs the PTG. 2) Occlusion (blindness) vs seeing what is afar^1 Exactly what I experienced ^1 ie higher levels of creation!

{6} So my contrast of BIP/PTG, occlusion or blindness/seeing higher levels of creation is a basic Jewish-Christian {substation} of worldview and one of the most basic, and entirely in accord with orthodoxy. By 2-74 to 2-75 experience was a restoration 1) of my faculties (ie myself to what I originally was); and 2) I was removed from the BIP and from the power of the BIP and restored to the Gardn, the kingdom of God, in fulfillment of Godâ??s promise, via Christ. My original bright nature (of light) was restored, and I was taken back home. To where I originally came from. Restored person, restored place, all conditions, inner (me) and outer (world) as they should be, and had once been. Out of the dark narrow prison! Is there a causal relationship between restored person and restored place? Can you have one without the other? And I causually connected, which is caused which is effect, or are they just inner-outer parallel equals? A dual (binary) restoration? Am I one of the â??second Adamâ? race? And how many other people has this happened to? More important, does my inner (self)/outer (world) restoration signify (signal) that the time of the fulfillment of Godâ??s promise (of salvation) has at least, (historically, generally) come? I have reason indeed to believe that it has come: 1) The St. Sophia prophecy. 2) The Buddha prophecy. 3) The head Apollo prophecy. 4) The â??the time youâ??ve waited for has comeâ? statement 5) The dream and code in â??Tearsâ? 6) The AI voice of my 2-74 â?? 2-75 experience in themselves 7) The overthrow by God of Nixon.

{7} This list of seven indications is overwhelmingly impressive. What other conclusion that that the 2nd advent has come could be reached? IF I reject this, I must assume I am unique in the whole scheme of things, which is absurd. Obviously I am not unique, an anomaly â?? OBVIOUSLY I and my experience are part of a vast supernatural unfolding. What I feel Iâ??ve here in these six pages is: 1) The BIP which I saw in 3-74 and realize weâ??re in is the â??cave of treasuresâ? to which we were exiled when we were expelled from the garden, in some sense it is beneath the garden. 2) The PTG which I entered briefly in 2-75 is our original home, the garden-land. 3) The augmentation of my faculties in 3-74 was in fact a restoration of me to the original not fallen proper state associated with our first place (Garden) and condition. 4) And that this restoration, inner and outer, was triggered all by the [golden] fish (Christ) sign proves that 1, 2 and 3 are so, and that they are accomplished through Christ, as promised. And I saw Zebra, who I think is Christ, he was â??meltingâ? the iron prison, the causal bars that hold us in thrall. I was granted all this immediately upon the successful completion of my appointed task: telling the good news in â??Tears.â? This immediate salvation is actually a further piece of proof. I was thereby enabled to read

{8} What had been written through me in â??tears.â? Wait- I see something important. â??You arenâ??t to tell that youâ??re an early xtian.â? Why? Because the resurrecting of the early xtians {Curhich} happened in was in 2-3(74; ie Thomas and my anamnesis) is an absolute sign that the 2nd advent is about to take place. Talk about exultance! This piece is truly startling. Like astral returning (signaling the return of the Golden age) the rebirth (now) of the original Christians points to only one thing, and of course their identity (locale; ie who theyâ??re resurrected in) must be kept secret so I deduce that I (or rather Thomas) is one of a number of them. I brought back, for openers, in connection with the Nixon (Roman) overthrow. The early xtians being resurrected (now) are the sold homoplasmates (i.e. restored-to-our-original-stamen; see supra 6 pages); they are not fallen like us, but are, as promised, renewed. This, too, fills with scripture; they died, and are reborn this way: as we were before the fall. It was Thomas who had the enhanced {reinory} and percept faculties, and was able to see the BIP and knew about it â??had fought it- and entered at last the PTG. So homoplasmate=unfallen (or fallen and then restored) men= resurrected early xtians. This is all in accord with scripture; fundamentals of it in fact.

{9} Existence. I stress the two aspects: 1) Physical resurrection of the early xtain dead is involved. 2) And they are fully restored to the original pre-fall state (what I call homoplasmates) I had not realized before that both aspects are involved. Perhaps I will never understand the mechanics involved. But I do know that (1) and (2) are taking place, and these are two basic promises of the text. What remains are: 3) The defeat of Satan (ie the blowing up of the BIP, the â??cave of treasuresâ? and restoration of man to his home. The Gardenland), (with its vast spaces in which he can set all [levels of creation) (This, too, seems to be taking place.) and: 4) Return of the rightful king and judge. ({Rex and Felix}) (â??Tearsâ? and other evidence â??prophecies, - seem to point to this either now happening or soon to happen.) These four aspects are the total N.T. kerygma as I understand it. This analysis is a milestone in my exegesis. Do you suppose that the resurrection (1) and restoration (2) make it possible for us to see (3) being accomplished and finally (4)? That there is a causal correlation in this 1,2,3,4 sequence? The physical resurrection of the early xtian (1) brings about a restoration of the pre-fallen â??{Flaw} of Bright natureâ? (2), by whose enhanced faculties the prison is seem, and, in conjunction with God, these â??homoplasmates,â? â??as I call them- blow up the prison and release men back to their original home. The Garden Land (3); God, in assisting and doing this, at first concealed at last makes his visible reappearance as King and Judge here (4), so these four elements are listed in chonological and caual â??not arbitrary- sequence.

{11} That it was not limited to one but was a vast historical upheaval is proved by 1) The â??Re{x, v} Felixâ? dream and code in â??Tearsâ? obviously directed by someone plural. 2) And the overthrow of the Nixon tyranny, the most powerful tyrant the Empire has ever possessed. So actual â?? as contrasted to spurious- time moved forward in 1974, due to Godâ??s (â??Zebraâ??sâ?) in {breaking} it picked up where it left off in CADYS. _ â??A vortex in the hologram,â? ? Synchronicity or control of synchronicity. _ And one early xtian can be physically resurrected, and in his pre-fallen â??brightâ? state (what will; it is not measureable to associate itâ??s limited to one out of x; and the code message in â??Tearsâ? would verify this. And if they are out of the prison and restored back to the Garden â?? if every one is- then the Garden exists. The garden in all sense is a place. But in another sense it is a state that of being free of (â??aboveâ?) the prison and its narrowness. It is vast, and in it one can see all levels of creation: God and the angels above, not â??a ledge of rock.â? The garden is obviously one level up from the â??cave of treasures.â? There is one thing to do with â??being able to see objects afarâ? us ^see {?} mere â??fleshy eyes,â? which I well understand, the prison perceptual occlusion is visual (although auditory challs are impaired, too). I experienced this return of proper vision and said, â??I have been blind, but now for the first time I can see.â? This has to do with augmented versus reduced perception of space and, seen, too, is what extended present, stretching over 2000 years of time.

{12} The info traffic, and zebra the macro brain, and finally the abyss. There is great ambiance to sound itâ??s like distant bells. In the book of Adam and Eve, as in Genesis, it said that God Himself (1) occluded us; and (2) exiled from the Garden to the prison as punishment for our transgression. He did it to us and now he undoes it. We are deformed and in exile, cut off from him. But he took me back, through Christ (perhaps as {advocate viz} â??if anyman have sinned, he has an advocate with the Father.â?) God has dispatched a savior to restore it. Is this a selective salvation (â??my sheep know one voice.â?)? it is not based on merit, perhaps. But is predestined (which Will Durant calls â??that awful doctrineâ? â??of Augustineâ??s). But it must be so, it canâ??t be based on merit; all of Paulâ??s writing makes this clear. Merit is just another name for fulfilling the Law. We canâ??t earn our way back. The decision is {clear} and the basis is impossible for us to know; that is a fact. There are no known criteria there is absolutely no evidence that any given act or group of acts leads to it, so pragmatically, effectively, it is predestination de facto. IF we canâ??t know what will do it we canâ??t be sure that anything will do it, anyway, if we donâ??t know, itâ??s the same thing. The initiation is Godâ??s. The decision is Godâ??s. The logic is Godâ??s. There probably is a pattern, a logic; it probably is not capricious â?? a whim. I know that in 3-74 some kind of â??Karmicâ? determinism over me was broken. That was the power of our enslavement. Salvation = freedom, which I now construe as the burden of punishment; the exile and deformity. The narrowing of the cave of treasures and release from the â??inner-outer takeâ? that I discerned which the system locks us into. Then is is the normal system; the way it works. The way itâ??s supposed to work. There may be no dualistic religion here. {doubt} of hierarchy of levels. We were reduced by the same power that extricates us.

{13} This could be so: I did see an integration mechanism, a vast machine which effectively formations. (I saw us being signaled instructions â?? {said} of lights, and of course verbal and graphic linked messages that control (engram) us.) But I did see a black {ikm} prison under attack like a heavy metal speck stuck in an organism like a phagocytosis process. There was certainly a dialectic interchange involved. This makes our stint here a sort of probation outside the Gardenland, our trial, our ordeal, what we have to learn. I suppose I could think of it in terms of initiation into the higher mysteries, as in â??the {magic} flute,â? after the trials. There is something secret about it; e.g. I am told by the voice not to tell that I was an early xtian (resurrected, and with the bright originally unfallen nature intact: what I call a homoplasmate). And I generally feel a reluctance to make a discovery and theories, and revelations public. This is distinctly not pistis xtianity but, I guess, gnostic (or even {heretical}). Christ as high priest who performs the exculpatory of salvific act (nites), although most of my system is orthodox. Still, the whole disclosure that we are in prison (the cave of treasures) â??it is orthodox and yet it is not, for I conceive of an evil deity imprisoned us, the master magician (ie Palmer Eldritch). I see us as unjustly imprisoned; we may have made a plane ordinal error. But it was intellectual, not moral, love mistook this spurious world for reality. Thus we labor under a delusion, and it is one thrust on us calculatedly. This counterfeit world was deliberately designed to fool us, through an adventitious agency (the savior) we must be made to see it is

{14} Irreal; as in â??Scannerâ? we are unaware of our occlusion and hence where we are. That is very basic and very important- we made a primordial error, all right, and, as in the Book of Adam and Eve it led to our exclusion from our primordial original home, the garden, and imprisonment in this prison. But the error was intellectual, taking the irreal to be real. The road to salvation is an epistemological one, not ethical â?? but it is useless for us to try on our own, since the specific nature of our occlusion defeats us. Only Christ can save the like {runciter} or Ubik, from â??outside.â? We die and are born here again and again, no more enlightened each time, unless he intervenes. At a single bold stroke the delusive power of this world, this prison, must be broken over us, as it was with me in 2-3/74. But my 25 years of writing and world view have to precede 2-3/74, had to lead up to it. Thus I say, my writing is an antidote to the delusion, to the occlusion (intoxication). Since the original error (â??sinâ?) is intellectual, not moral then the antidote is knowledge; and the installment of that salvific gnosis is pansophiaism . the secret agents of that gnosis are invisible {themetic} paracelsusian adepts, and the goal of it is the creation of what I call homo plasm. {teig throw} the mystical conjunction (wedding). Because of the seel-world push-pull system which I believe exists there is no way to demonstrate the intellectual error (the spuriousness of world and rather worlds plural). Thus the savior, who enters the situation from outside, is necessary. Once his faculties were restored and I could see him (Zebra)

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the world). + now you get to leave," which means that the ontological, saving Gnosis comes to you if you pick up on certain clues here + there + arrive at the acosmism - the Kerygma expressed in "Eye" the 3 Bantam Novels, "Tears," + "Scanner," etc. - + then the "masks are removed" + the truth revealed - but it is a truth you already at least partially figured out.

I didn't think of this. What if the conditions of the Game are these? Extrication comes only as a result of - or after - self intellectual correct formulation? then - Zebra is built into the Maze as the link back up to the outside (cf "Ubik"), to the real world. I literally found my way out of the Maze -

So there is a way out: I defeated the Maze enough, successfully enough, to trip the anamnesis circuits into firing. i.e. the way back out.

The Golden Fish was causally determined to occur given the level of enlightenment I had reached. It was culmination, not so much override invention: it was ahead on the path (which is why it appears in "Faith of..."!).

Then the Maze has not won over me. As of 2-74 I was back out. That's what happened in 2-74 - I found the way out of the Maze, + only by viewing the condition ("world") as Maze + way-out-of-maze can 2-74 be understood.

This is why Christ spoke in riddles. We're supposed to problem (puzzle) solve on our own by our own efforts. Maybe he crucially helps us, but, - our efforts are necessary, our moral +


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