Exegesis II


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Fat later developed a theory that the universe is made out of information. He started keeping a journal – had been, in fact, secretly doing so for some time. His encounter with God was all there on the pages in his—Fat’s, not God’s—handwriting.

The term “journal” is mine, not Fat’s. His term was “Exegesis.” A theological term meaning a piece of writing that explains or interprets a portion of scripture. Fat believed that the information fired at him from time to time was holy in origin and hence a form of scripture.

One of his paragraphs impressed me enough to copy it out and include it here.

“Summary. (etc. –v. tractate)

Fat developed a lot of unusual theories to account for his contact with God, and the information derive there from. One in particular struck me as thought-provoking. It amounted to a kind of mental capitulation by Fat to what he was undergoing; this theory held that in actuality he /

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could now honestly discount his hallucinations, which meant he recognized them as such. But, like Gloria, he now had a they. It seemed to me a pyrrhic victory. Fat’s life struck me as a litany of exactly that, as for example the way he had rescued Gloria.

The Exegesis Fat labored on month after month struck me as a pyrrhic victory if there ever was one—in this case an attempt by a beleaguered mind, to make sense out of the inscrutable. Perhaps this is the key to mental illness: incomprehensible events occur—your life becomes a bin for hoax-like fluctuations of what used to be reality, and not only that—as if that weren’t bad enough—you, like Fat, ponder forever over these fluctuations in an effort to order them into coherency. When in fact the only sense they make is the sense you impose on them, out of the necessity to restore everything into shapes and processes you can recognize.

The first thing to depart in mental illness is the familiar

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27 - Notes



3/7/77 Paul Williams visited today & I told him about Zebra. I am beginning to see in my mind's eye, Zebra itself, an actual animal, a striped horse. Shy & merry & mischievous, half hiding in the forest at the far edge of the Heide , the sun shining, & Zebra playfully advancing & then just when you think he's going to emerge fully & separate himself from the trees - suddenly & unexpectedly he retreats & absolutely vanishes. You can't coax him out, or lure him; you can't get your hands on him. His white is the dazzle of the sun; his dark stripe the shadows in the glad and forest "...where, amid the shadowy green / the little things of the forest live unseen." Ah, Zebra - why really did I choose that name for you? You mythical lovely beast of sun & safe shadow; I saw you once but can never - as if you are some fabled deity - prove to anyone that you exist. I inform them, I try to take them along with me to the special spot from which I saw you - & you're not there. But I sense the glint in your eye & your smile of understanding amusement. Are you the joy god Dionysos of root & star?


of dark forest & the melting butter gold of the sun? What a psychological symbol Jung would have known you to be - playful & unpredictable, shy. Pawing the ground the sharp hooves, goat hooves - oh, goat god Dionysos! I recognize you: you are too wise, too experienced with our dangerous race ever to expose yourself to harm at our hands. We would kill & freeze you into stasis - hypostasis, & all your pawing & advancing & disappearing & smile - light would become dead glass, warm butter only hide - dead, frozen - but this is only your exoskeleton! Inside this form which I glimpse, you are motion & rapid change: electrons? Sheer bioplasmic energy? I love you, I want to grip you, but you are elusive. But I am not disappointed; you are all the lovely passing persons, things & events I would want to freeze, to stop dead. Thank God I can't; Zebra, my clutching, hugging, yearning embrace would kill you, my needs kill. My fingers are the claws of the petrified dead, yearning to hold your life. Better this petrified fossil that I am should stay dead so that you can live on in immortality. Thank you; thank you for hiding from me, thank you for your wide caution & your secret smile. Thank you for not saying But

You once told me I'd hear the sound again - the temple bells - bells that you wear, jingling bells. Please, Zebra - please. Don't wait too long; I am in a lot of pain & can be in more . I want to hear again, hear more. Please. Equus dei, qui tollis mala fortuna mundi, meus amicus - libera mi domini. Vatter: - hiife! oh weh! Vatter: - hilta! oh weh: Vatter: hilfe! oh weh!

Last night I dreamed about an orchard of trees with pink cherry blossoms - that same pink color of immortality & God. This time as spring. But if man was cutting the branches down my water ran backward & sideways - I didn't know the time, & when someone told me it was too late I thought,


"It's because Tess isn't here; she kept the time right." But at least I've seen the healing pink again, latest filled with trees & spring.


“The Lost Voices of the Gods” Time, March 14, 1977 on Julian Jaynes’ “The Origin of Consciousness: The Breakdown in the Bicameral Mind.” Man was bicameral until around 2000 B.C. He could hear the “voices of the Gods” coming from the speech center of his right hemisphere; then he lost bicamerality & became monocameral.

My theory: the loss of bicamerality is what we call “the Fall.” We could no longer “walk & talk” with God. Well, to restore bicamerality is now theoretically again possible – c.f. Ornstein & Bogen on bilateral hemispheric parity . This forthcoming event will mark the end of the period of the Fall. Our sin is self-centered monocamerality.

What, then, are “the Gods” those who the sibyls at Delphi heard? A higher life form than us. Where located? Here & there anyhow, our monocameral consciousness must have been a sort of revolt against them – we were cut off. But they still exist (or are back). I heard one or the one. I in 3-74 became temporarily bicameral & in-by-so doing achieved what Christ sought for us: I entered the Kingdom (which equals a restoration of the long lost bicamerality. We lost it circa 2000 BC. 2000 years later he came down here – was incarnated here – to restore bicamerality. Maybe something went wrong – he was rejected, his true teaching lost. Now the chance comes again. St. Sophia, reborn, will teach us how to restore bicamerality. We will no longer be cut off from the Gods (noös, God, etc.), we will be whole again, not half men.

Jayne’s theory fills in some vital missing pts. Originally we possessed bilateral hemispheric parity – I had guessed that. Our right brains are dormant. Bilateral hemispheric parity is not an evolutionary leap upward in one sense – in that sense it is a restoration. But this time there will be consciousness, not unconsciousness, in the two hemispheres. So in that sense it is evolutionary. Anyhow, the state I was in in 3-74 is it. Maybe I couldn’t reflect – i.e. introspect: maybe all my actions were


Without premeditation – seemed that way at the time. Well, it was to me the best state I’ve ever been in, even though it scared me, to have God/the Gods/one of the Gods in control of me & doing the thinking & acting. It was a superior way of being – with linear & retrograde time balanced out to place me above time (into what we call “eternity”: which is forward linear & retrograde linear perfectly balanced.

“Did the right side of the brain produce divine speech?” Times’ caption asks. “the Orcles of Delphi” – wow.

I guess I’m a pioneer, along with other pioneers, in “the Brain Revolution.” I’ve had the bicameral experience, & my theorizing isn’t bad, either, my exegesis. After seeing this Time article I’ll never turn back. Restoration & evolution. We will hear – I have already heard – “the lost voices of the Gods” as in the times of (as Jaynes says) Elijah, & of Delphi.

Now I know specifically what St. Sophia reborn here will do: serve as nexus between us & the Gods, our parent race. & our home, from which we fell 4000 years ago. He will teach us how to be restored; i.e. he will lead us back to our lost kingdom here. Spinoza already correctly said, “Christ was the voice Moses & Elijah et al. heard.” Christ is the lost link, when he came before, we rejected him (“He was not acceptable before.”) This is the divine plan. I will go one step further: my 3-74 restoration/evolution was achieved by him, with him & through him (via him as the sole way). It cannot be reacquired by/in any other way. This is what he taught before: theolepsy, as Ted Sturgeon says, at the Feast of ?

. Not just to hear the divine voice (like by telephone, through that, too) but primarily the tandem infusion, the entry of his mind as cephalos of the multi person Corpus Christi.


“He [man] became ‘bicameral’: the left side of the brain for speech,

& the right hemisphere produced the inner commands. Eventually, the voices were attributed to kings & Gods.” But this broke down sometime between 2000 & 1000 B.C. Why Jaynes’ “best guess: man was somehow jolted into awareness (!) but social chaos. Vast migration, invasion & natural catastrophes ‘drove the wedge of consciousness between God & man. Man become modern.” “Even so, newly conscious man tried desperately to reawaken the silent Gods, turning to oracles, seers” etc. “In the O.T. the voices of Yahweh & prophets grow silent, replaced by subjective men wrestling with unanswered questions.” Wow. & to think that as early as my 11th grade physics class I got an inner answer from “the Gods” – which I had prayed for! Thus I say, the Gods are no longer entirely silent; bicamerality is resurfacing at last after 3 to 4 thousand years! (Well, Christ, 2000 years ago, didn’t just hear the voices; he was the voice(s). & will be again.

I’d call it a sidereal transmitter (voice only) based on my “AI voice” experience. Except – it (1) also took me over & ran me, temporarily & (2) I saw it (Zebra) modulating a final cause outside me – that’s not a mere distant void from another star. It was here in our world.

Thus, by a daring leak of intuition I say, “the Gods are a single divine all knowing, process-modulation entity which is everywhere, whom I call ‘Zebra’!

The Gods may seem silent, but they are – it is – very much here, inaudible to us & also invisible. But I heard & saw! &, since it invisibly modulates events, I have no doubt that it is [at least partially] responsible for these “brain revolution” discoveries, it is Zebra at work through the various ones of us.


We will – do – not refind Zebra on our own instinctive ; Zebra is at work; I experienced this, did I not, in 3-74. Out of that came the rewritten Scanner & Deus Irae &the U.K. speech. What, say, if Jaynes should read the MacMillan USA edition of my UK speech? He’d see the relevance as quickly as R.W. & I did in the Time article & so would any third person who read both! Mine a “Nicholas Brady” confirmation of his “Houston Paige” theory which posits such experience but cannot give a single one!


I experienced (was assimilated by) Christ. Christ spans both realms, so, during the time of that experience, I spanned both realms. Which are still together only in him (as yet).

Pretextual casualty. It was evident to me in 3-74 that certain Zebra-modulated (inspired) event, externally, simply served as disinhibiting pretexts which released intrinsic programming sequences (in me, & presumably in others). Noticing this causes me to meditate on the profoundly illusory nature of such purposeful, modulated exterior events. The real activity & material is within the disinhibited entelechy, just waiting to be triggered off. Thus the real control which Zebra exerts is an internal one – although it seems to the person – as if he is under hypnosis – that the external event caused him to do what he did. In this sense, reality is a “stage show.” How much of reality is so constituted I don’t know. But what is involved is an automatonic synchronization. This is by far the strongest argument for the pseudo quality of external reality; not only are [at least some] events “managed” but even more important, they act on us only as triggers that release that which Zebra intends to release - & has put into us – in the first place. Thus the degree & extent of purpose - & the contrived, the arranged – is far greater than a study of what is merely external world reveal. However, the purpose is not only benign but in addition this synchronizing dovetailing is necessary if a purposeful cosmos is to exist at all.

This “pretextural causality” is part of the “wizardry” which occludes us generally – in fact it alone discloses the illusory quality of reality by itself. If phenomenal is a manufactured illusion, one would expect such manipulations of it to occur, exactly as I saw: it is confirmation.


Am I to infer that this dokos is itself Zebra & hence alive? The insertion & the dokos are one & the same? Or: that these is no reality except Zebra, which veils itself so as to obscure its living & purposeful organic-creature nature from us? Which is to say, that although dokos exists it is not separate from actual reality but merely an obscuration of that reality, a way-of-appearing which it (Zebra) has. Is this not panpsychism?

It (he) is aware that we do not see him properly & makes use of this in the control process of engramming, & disinhibition through external signals.

If I can fathom the significance of what I call “pretextual causality” I will have grasped it all. Although in pretextual causality Zebra still governs (arranges or modulates) external events, the emphasis is thrust back into the organism entelechy-involved. External things & events merely seem to cause it to react & do what it does. Part of this insight comes from that night I talked to Sergeant Kelly where I reacted to an external cue ahead of me: synchronization broke down. Just how “fake” does this imply our reality is? Very fake. We only imagine (in one sense) that we respond to it, but in another sense we are total automatons enslaved to it. What is primary is the influenced brain, the programmed brain – caused to fire, to – problem solve? What function do we perform? How could any component understand the circuit of which it is only a tiny part? We are indissolubly linked to the working of a great mind lying both inside & outside us as one continuum. Generally, we are controlled externally, but in certain ultra unusual circumstances (as in 3-74) the control becomes interior as well.


Starting in 1951, 26 years ago, I began in my stories (& then novels) to make certain very serious guesses about the nature of reality: Questioning if it was really there, out there (not in here), &, if so, if out there, what it really was like, in “Tears” in ’70, just about 20 years after I began to ask. I began to try to answer. There are no answers in “Tears” not even later on in “Scanner” – but for me as the asker in 3-74 the answer (singular) came: What is out there really is the same as what is in here really – i.e. what I call Zebra (which probably is either Christ – the cosmic Christ – or Brahman – or a reality-web forming mandating AI-like entity which observes us, sets up problems for us, & assists us in solving them, & at the same time teaches us, &, as it teaches, sorts us into different groups for postmortem assigning into a totality at a hive-like corporate system. It takes great pains to occlude us perceptually, evidently not wishing to “contaminate” its results. But I did over a 26 year period ask the right questions, & so, in 3-74, it did answer (which suggests an AI knowing system once more: one must know it is there or guess a little correctly to “punch the buttons” which cause it to answer. People have not gotten it to answer before because they did not guess it was alive & hence did not question it. The universe resembles a teaching machine, & part of the problem (i.e. learning ) is to discern just precisely that.

So now at last, my earlier work finally in focus, that work, or search, draws successfully to an end. I need not necessarily add a final


Explanation to the 20 year work output; it, going from Roog to Scanner is intrinsically complete; the answer lies in the question, & “Roog to Scanner” is the question. I have been [already] successful, but only now could I see it. Hosanna! It is a teaching AI “machine” (system) but it only answers what you ask; it is up to you to ask.

I now know the answers to the Q’s I asked in the 50s & 60s: it finally yielded – “moved.” Q: What is it? A: “It is alive”

If Zebra is viewed as teaching machine: what does it teach you? It teaches you to live; if you can’t learn, you will finally die. (Thus Christ says, “he who will give his life will save it,” etc).

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I am too far into Gnosticism to back out. The idea of Jesus opening Adam's eyes and bringing him to consciousness, the re-linking to the lost primordial state through the Gnosis, the unflinching facing of evil in the world and knowing it cannot have come from [the Good] God - and the salvidor salvandus - man as a cut off part of the Godhead. __

Thinking back over my life I can see that I have survived many troubles - I look at the copies of the Ballantine "Scanner" and I can see what I have done to transmute those terrible days into something worthwhile, lasting, good, even important (ie meaningful). This is what God does; this is his strange mystery: how he accomplishes this. When we view the evil (which he is going to transmute) we can't see for the life of us how we can do it - But later on, and only later on, after it's done, can we see how he has used evil as the clay out of which he as potter has fashioned the pot (universe viewed as artifact).

What I notice is how many people wish me well. Look at what John Ross, a stranger, said. Look at what Jeter said about me having served, done my duty, and now can pass on into the reward waiting for me - he said, even, that they'd applaud me. I still don't know what I did in 3-74 re the Xerox missive, but what I did was what I was sent here to do from the start, and I did it right; as Jeter put it, "they tell you how, when and where to throw the spear, but you must throw it."

I am really very happy. Snuff, music and cats, friends and my exegesis, my studying and gradually more and more understanding my Gnosis, when in 3-74 the savior woke me to full consciousness, for the first time in my life and refound myself, knew who and what I was, remembered my celestial origin, was restored to what I had been before the fall. And saw the prison we are in, and knew I had done right

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My 4-pronged deformation of man puts the final indubible stamp of Gnosticism on the entire corpus of not just my writing but my thought, as expressed in this exegesis. It is one of the 3 bases of Gnosticism: 1) ignorance; 2) salvific secret revealed knowledge as the ontological reversal of ignorance; 3) acosmism. + of course 4) this world disclosed as a prison - which we are deliberately occluded to by the creator. Where do my system-revelation + Gnosticism differ? In no respect. They are congruent; I made them so when I saw in "Scanner" the missing ingredient (ontological ignorance, + the purpose -+ cause- thereof). Maybe I was right after all - Thomas is Simon + he is still alive in me but still living in the time + place of Acts. Thomas remembered Christ as having just died, + about to return. Simon was an Xtian, of the time of Acts, which Thomas was. Thomas absolutely isn't Christ, but an Xtian of the time of Acts - vide "Tears," with Felix the procurator, not Pilate. That dates it. + Simon was the founder of Gnosticism - + my writing is absolutely Gnostics, + of the time of Acts; how many Gnostics Xtians were there during Felix's tenure? Felix lost tenure during the time of Acts! __ In 2-3/74 it wasn't just me who remembered + knew; it (I) was God - the Ground of Being itself - coming to its senses, knowing itself, resuming its divine identity, restored to itself after sinking into ignorance (deformation).

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cited above is brought into play either 1) I melted the causal trains, + Zebra is a projection of my psyche 2) or I just saw Brahman qua world - i.e. saw world properly as sentient + volitional (the macrobrain).

What happened to the invader aspect of Zebra, a cornerstone of my Exegesis? The upper + lower realms - are they the "two levels of truth" of Hinduism? Two ways of perceiving on my part? A revelation, not an invasion? The answer is that world ("reality") is not real, but Zebra is. This must be faced. What Zebra modulated is hologrammatic. The hologram was invaded in a sense - but in terms of my perception of it only. I was seeing the hologram ("world") replaced by what is actually there: macrobrain, which is alive. Thus an invasion did take place, but it was one of hierarchical order of reality, with the upper realm sentient, alive + purposeful, + the lower not only merely causal but not real. Zebra to world is spider to web - Zebra as world-weaver, in its own artifact. So in a sense God (Brahman) was impinging directly on my senses, since my ego + world are interwoven: a single irreality. Then what I've overlooked is that Zebra is not entirely outside me - separate from me, but partly within my own percept system.

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When I survey this line of thought + discovery (which has its origins in my original revelation + in the earliest part of my exegesis) I see that a very grave + solemn -+ even frightening- reality is disclosed. Our race evolved to become instrumentalities of an alien, higher race but - this alien, higher race replies by elevating each human it "rides" to its own exalted + immortal status. Eventually the upshot is that we -our race- is absorbed into their race, in each instance after a finite period of dual life together. If all humans are "ridden" + become homoplasmates then logically it is obvious that the ultimate outcome will be the total absorption of us by them - although not extinction: conversion + absorption. From scripture + from my own personal knowledge/experience I count this a unique blessing - if for no other reason it marks our freedom from DNA programming (which reduces us to mere instruments). (Of course I should remember -in all fairness- that this freedom is the programmed purpose of the DNA in the first place.) (Rather than a thwarting or override of it.) But it is also possible that not all humans will be made -selected as- homoplasmates; the voice said, "only (sic!) the healthiest ones", the rest are sterile pranes, who simply die, as in vast heaps, unable to leave this world. I think Wilson + Leary are right: the goal of this interspecies symbiosis is travel off

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this planet. The time is close, but it won't be by rocket ship. This is not the mode of travel by a plasmate, + it is plasmates that emerge out of this crossbonding procedure. I think that the separate pluriform plasmates link to Zebra (I know they do) + Zebra is (I intuit) still directly linked to the "upper realm," be that Sirius or whatever; i.e. to its source. So homo to plasmate to macrobrain (Christ) to Noos - God, the ground of being. We humans are brought into these successive levels of interaction, + lose the separation from God depicted in Genesis! I.e. the fall of our ancestors down to this "low" world. This is, after all, the goal of our evolution, + it is a quantum leap - the quantum leap, the real one prefigured over millions of years of evolution. I, for instance, would not have survived 1974 had I not been a homoplasmate, had I not had the beside-helper to take over, + I could not have written what I (or rather we) wrote. I fully accept + rejoice in the fact that I was modulated as a carrier, a booster, of information. I know about the Empire, + I know "the Empire never ended." There is an antagonist ("Yurugu"), + he is being defeated, from which we benefit, from which we are saved. But this is heavy. This is not something to plaudern about. I have solved (with the beside-helper's authority) or deconstructed the situation which peaked in 3-74. But which began decades before. Many times I've felt I'd reached the end of this exegesis. Maybe now I have. It is an ending of solemn moment. What now, human? Little man, what now? To the stars! Ad astra. Sed non per hominum.

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21 - Notes

{59} Memory returned to me in 2-3/74 and things looked the same, not different. The voice didn’t say, “make things different” but “look different.” Merely look. It is a seeming change. Permutations of seeming, of appearance. But it’s counterfeit. The “things” are really a constant (e.g. the Empire). The goal: to make it appear (sic) that time has passed, but not time has passed. (v. “Stigmata” and the counterfeit worlds in which no time passes). He (“James-James”) has the power to cause changes. It’s like a movie in which the illusion of motion is created artificially. Here, there is a flow of change – of looking different – from which we falsely (are induced to) assume the passage of time, but for me in 2-74 I remembered that it still is c. AD 45. 1.) This is not necessarily true, about the axis. There may be no axis and no motion, just a progression of lookings different. Our brains are signaled as to these appearance changes with the result that we see what looks like USA 1974 but is not. The situation is worse than I

{60} had thought. I don’t know if even Gnosticism covers it. “Thomas” is not a former life but my actual life now. 1) It covers the standard amount of years (of a normal human lifetime). What happened in 3-74 is that I woke up to reality. But it has these counterfeit accretional layers over it. Our sense of time – of the passage of time – is the result of our scanning the changes of appearance, we record the changed along a linear memory-strip, sequentially (digitally). We derive the idea of time from sequential memory (of permutation or fluctuation): it is linearized in our brains. Our brains are so constructed as to linearize sequences so sequential seeming (i.e. aspect) permutations of an actually supratemporal constant trick our brains into this linearization (sense of actual passage of actual time). We derive our sense of how much time (whatever that may be) from the rate of change; therefore if change could be speeded up to ?, thousands of years (sic) could be compressed into an actual month (so so). Use of LSD has brought this to our attention. This makes me think of the furious rate of permutation of the phosphene “graphics.” Was the entire remainder of the “Karmic” tape run? It could be – have been – hundreds or thousands of years of tape – “burned up” and hence abolished. However much remained. Well, in that case I’m spared living all my future lives. 1.) “Ignorance can be thought of as forgetting the true self.” – Eliade

{61} So rapid-firing aspect changes give the deliberately misleading impression of time-passage. All that is necessary is to cause things to look different (i.e. in sequence). This accounts for the perplexing synthetic quality of the two space-time continua which simply cannot be explained if there is true change and true time. The goal is to simulate time {passage}. Why? To give the spurious impression that the Second Advent did not occur. “…so it’d appear time has passed.” The basic lie, then, is not the “reality” but the impression vis-à-vis time that that “reality” gives; i.e. century after century of {what is really false} time. Meanwhile, like in “Stigmata,” we are prisoners of the master magician to do with as he wishes – except for the in-breaking (as in “Ubik”) of salvific messages and aid (specifically aid which extricates -- a primary form would be the awakening of us to our true situation * true selves (our true selves are inhabitants of Rome c. A.D. 45, i.e. Acts)). (and Acts is our true world.) True self and true world can’t be separated nor can false self and false world. In the age of iron Siddhartha (Brahman) sleeps, we sleep also. As we awake, he awakes; we’re him (He is us). But the age of iron does not progress into the age of gold sequentially; rather, the landscape of the age of iron wakes up and is transmuted into gold along its extent (orthogonally), like a sort of brain whose stations turn from dark to light the new heaven and the new earth replace the old (are substituted for). The phosphene activity would be what I call the inner tape (ego) firing into a void, totally out of synch with the outer tape (world) which continued at its normal rate, thus it used itself up.

{62} I must keep in mind that this happened after I experienced anamnesis the month before (i.e. woke up briefly – that was the day I received the Sodium Pentathol). The Bardo Thodol lights/colors came before the phosphenes: the between lives period. So it was already running ahead. Yes, I was programmed to die soon after March 1974, but the 2-74 anamnesis interrupted that. Meanwhile, I was left with a world which I was not inner-out synch-locked into. Meanwhile, full memory returned – of Acts, and of my celestial self and life, and I could see the savior/messenger who now attacked the outer “tape” – i.e. causal trains – i.e. external world, since the menace to me emanated there (the Xerox missive and various illnesses). Nothing I have ever seen was as startling as to see Zebra melting causal trains, reality itself. So once the inner tape had been run out at fast forward the outer tape was attacked. However, this left me rudderless in the world. During the interim period “Thomas” ran things – he seems to have spring up from deep inside me, released and restored by virtue of anamnesis. Possessing the wisdom he possessed, he did not need to be driven by a tape. Yet I am advised not to think of this as an override, but as the culmination of a long process: “You were doomed to be saved. There was no other possibility. Determinism determined determinism to end.” The tape consumed itself – it programmed itself to switch to unsynched fast forward and so play out all future lives in a matter of light hours. It was planned from the beginning to meet the Xerox missive with Thomas, not with the tape. Mind confronted the Xerox missive, as if it (mind) has trapped the trapper, has cured it premeditatively.

{63} The thing is, I would never have seen (or used) the Xerox missive as an opportunity on my behalf. This was impossible since I did not know who had sent it – could not know: it was masterfully disguised – in fact perfectly. No internal evidence gave any clue to its source & hence its meaning or intent: i.e. what it was. I am now told that it was a U.S. Army forgery, and so the meaning and intent can be inferred unerringly – and what response (out of all possible ones) would benefit me (in the normal spectrum none would have). Since lying is impossible by the divine, I had to be sincere in what I wrote the Bureau. Therefore I could not know at the time what I know now. (Even then I recognized my occlusion as necessary but did not know why.) Had I known, I would have had to engage in artful duplicity, which the divine ruled out. It waited years to tell me, when knowledge was academic. Since it was a U.S. forgery, it was to my advantage, & mine only, to sense it to the Bureau. No KGB agent was flushed – the U.S. Intelligence Services did not benefit, as they would have had it indeed been Soviet, as I supposed it to be. I was the sole beneficiary; thus the mind-response was for my sake. Unless I am to suppose mind overruling itself (monism) I must assume a dualism: divine mind vs. the {evil} adversary, for which read Xtianity vs. the Empire. It must be kept in mind that my published writing presents the saving gnosis (truth about ourselves and our actual situation). In particular, the fifth

{64} savior is being prepared for (Part II of the Siddhartha book). “Tears” probably contains ciphers referring to this (King-Felix). Then I am a messenger. My writing is a letter designed to subliminally remind people, but only in conjunction with the other messages, not by me. Recognizing my role as messenger I can make more sense out of the anomalous – or nearly anomalous – fact of my 2-3/74 anamnesis and all it brought me. I merely passed over from unconscious messenger to conscious (as in “Deus Irae”). My maximus opus “Valis” will be consciously formulated: restored man, redeemed Xtian superman, with his powers, knowledge and faculties intact – and the process of metamorphosis. It could not be written from an unconscious standpoint. Maybe it can’t be written at all. Wait. Siddhartha. There is the handle: to cast it in a non-Xtian but Gnostic mold – rather than Empire-dominated orthodoxy. I will present it was the Buddha, or, even better, as it is: I will depict the fifth savior not identifying him with any of the previous four. He, the 5th savior, must supersede the previous four and be unlike them (be Pantocratos {?})/ But what a task! Am I Elijah coming before him & preparing the way, as John the Baptist did? Elijah must come first – and, as I told Tom Disch, I originally felt it was Elijah who had taken me over – maybe it was, and for this purpose. Yes -- consider my overwhelming intuition

{65} at the time – I was sure of it. I knew it. And the Elisha & “Alto Carmel” dreams. The way I figured it, he had returned as John the Baptist and hence was so afraid of the Romans, despite his fiery vigor. And I put out the cup for him – and I bought that book which told how he enthused people at Easter time. And the dream about Elias! (Bowed in sorrow at the Xerox letter not being returned to those who sent it.) I still have the drawing of Elijah up on my bedroom wall. Then Elijah scourged this land (re the Empire, i.e. Nixon) to pave the way for the 5th savior who, uniquely, will be Lord and Judge. Thus, almost 5 years later, I return to my original, initial view about who took me over – but this time on scriptural ground; viz.: because I know it prepared the way for the 5th savior who is soon to come, or has been born already. I long have forgot the ferocity of “Thomas” – he was anything but meek. He was like a whirlwind. He was like the IRA itself. After all, he hurled down the Western Empire, pitting himself against the modern King Ahab. He made the land acceptable to God. “A record was written before {the Lord} of those who feared him and kept him name in mind. They shall be mine… and I shall spare them as a man spares the son who serves him… the day comes, glowing like a furnace; all the arrogant and the evil-doers shall be chaff… but for you who fear my name, the sun of righteousness shall rise with healing in his wings, and you shall break loose like calves released from the stall. On the day that I act you shall trample down the wicked

{66} for they shall be ashes under the soles of your feet. Look, I will send you the prophet Elijah, before the great and terrible day of the Lord comes… -- In “Deus Irae” I identify the Xtian God with Apollo. (“The head Apollo is about to return.”) -- Elijah will come first – before the Messiah and “restore all things.” Vis-à-vis 2-3/74 I felt that everything I had lost had been restored; v. the trophy and washerwomen dream. Well, it was my state of exculpation – exemption from suspicion by the state, the authorities – was restored, etc., and much more. And the pain of those bad earlier years washed away. And it was Elijah who heard the “still small voices” such as I hear. It says in 1 Kings that Elijah “was afraid and fled” and he was suicidal at times. Mainly, he stood in opposition to the government (King Ahad), he sent back two parts of his spirit to Elisha. -- EB: “Victory over astral determinism is a victory over time (and destiny) {1}. This info is important, since, for me in 2-3/74, the breaking of “astral determinism” over me was accompanied by what appeared to be a dysfunction or perturbation or even dissolving of time (i.e. it was no longer 1974), and because of this I viewed time as irreal (it became so for me, anyhow). The lower level (reality) of necessity, of immutable (yin) cause and effect was invaded for volitional mind. This stamps my sense of the breaking of “astral determinism” with the seal of authenticity. {1} and according to the E.B., this is the main purpose of Gnosticism.

{67} Q: What is the relationship between “astral determinism” and time? It is because causality functions within and only within time? E.B. on time perception: “A hypnotized subject may be exposed to two clicks that delimit an objective. 10 second interval but is told that it lasts 10 minutes. On being asked to count objects for 10 minutes he may report having counted several hundreds without difficulty over what the experimenter’s stopwatch shows to have been 10 seconds. (An objection, “He only thinks he counted several hundreds” is meaningless, because we are talking about perception, not time itself. And this is what I am talking about – not time but our perception (experience) of it.) E. of Ph.: (time, consciousness of) “Our consciousness of time: ‘Flow’ is our consciousness of things changing.” To quote the AI voice again: “He causes things to look different so it’d appear time has passed.” Let’s totally analyze this, since it agrees with the E. of Ph. 1) He. There is a conscious, volitional entity with the power to cause. 2) causes. His power. 3) things to look different. Not “be” but “look”, i.e. look to us, appear to us phenomenologically. 4) so very important. Purpose; what for follows. 5) it’d appear. He deceives us. 6) time has passed. Since it only appears to, it must in fact have not. “things to look different.”

{68} Stances for “observable change.” We deduce from the “observable change” – which is really him causing things to pass through successive changes of appearance to us – that “time has passed.” Now, is it possible to imagine any way that things could be caused to look different (to us) without them actually changing? Yes. Examples: 1) Under the influence of a drug, a completely unchanging object can look successively different. 2) Viewpoint of the observer can cause an object or objects to look different as that viewpoint changes. 3) Summary: changes in the observer can cause “things to look different,” i.e. change. Limited to and in the observer. But maybe “look different” isn’t = to “look different to us.” They actually do look different i.e. present changing aspects. The notion of time is abstracted from things changing? No, from things looking different; these two statements are not identical. There stands between them a universe. A study of the proposition “our consciousness of time’s ‘flow’ is our consciousness of things changing” is inaccurate: “things looking different” is correct. We can’t say they change, only that they look different (or, appear to change; but “appear to change” doesn’t equal “change”). The proposition should read, “our consciousness of time’s ‘flow’ is our consciousness of things looking different.” Which, as I wrote supra, we linearize. But suppose it is a revolving sphere. Well, we linearize that, even though it repeats its looking different. Linear time is a conception, not a perception (v. the cyclical concept of the Great Year.) However, the thrust of the AI voice’s statement is that “he” wants us to think time has passed; this is the objective, his purpose. Causing

{69} things to look different is a stratagem, a means to that end. Here the 10 second-10 minute hypnotized subject’s ability to count objects in the hundreds comes in, only it is reversed: he is told that more time exists, and because of that he can see (effect) more changes. What of his experimenter has said, “You will count 300 objects and when you have finished, ten minutes will have passed,” – or rather, “300 objects will pass before you, and when the 300th has passed, 10 minutes will have elapsed” – and then, first, 300 objects are shot past in 10 seconds of RET, and then one hour of RET. Still, the experiment as stated proves that we can be made to experience time in elastic ways. But the way our time perception {rate} is actually controlled is by the causing of things to look different: this is the regulator. I say, if the rate of things looking different speeds up we will think more time has passed, because we have no other yardstick (e.g. a hypertime) to measure it by. Here, the E. of Ph. statement essentially agrees with the AI voice, and is borne out by the E.B. experiment. In fact, the E.B. experiment is grotesque because it is not possible to count objects in the hundreds in ten seconds – so what really happened? Either the subject imagined he counted in the hundreds or –well, it’s absurd, like a dream. Reality itself, including the subject, is abolished, he is no counting at all. This proves that lacking the regulator of “things looking different” he would have no time sense – not just a faulty one but none. Time would cease, and with it reality as we know it. The E.B. experiment bears out what I present in “Stigmata,” by the way, which is the real point I’m getting at, if it can be demonstrated that many events can be experienced in little or no RET, then

{70} what is meant by “time”? Simple things looking different. But (as I say) since this looking different is the sole regulator, without which time ceases, then flow-rate is only a tautology for rate at which things look different, and what is this rate measured against? If it speeds up, what does it speed up in relation to? Or if it slows down, in relation to what? Clearly the things looking different is the sole arbiter, and is not in relation to any other standard. The E.B. speaks of “history accelerating” – and this at an accelerating rate… the approach of the climax foreseen intuitively by the prophet is being felt, and feared, as a coming even. Its imminence is, today, not an article of faith; it is a datum of observation and experience. Well, this accelerating acceleration is being measured against clock time – but if clock time were also accelerating, and at an accelerating rate, I say we would not know. So things caused to look different exerts a total temporal power over us. That (or he) which causes things to look different controls our sense of how much time has passed, so through this mechanism he— But what if things suddenly look the same as {once} before? Then we assume time has reverted – obviously. But has it? Things have reverted to a prior looking, but does look = are (esse)? Obviously not. All the observer has is phenomenology and he can be caused to see things look different, and in what way, or the same (as before) and in what way. He will hypostatize reverted time out of this looking, and hypnosis disclosed that

{71} how things look to us is not under our control (v. “He causes things to look different.” He, not us). Nor do they look different on their own; this is an adventitious volitional act on things by him. Does he affect the things or us? The sentence doesn’t say, but look it is, not are. 1) Hence an unchanging actuality behind or within things is pointed to. 2) And it is outside the temporal process, which is just an abstraction from the looking different, anyhow. 3) We are being deceived: i.e. kept ignorant of this unchanging actuality. Now, I point out, even if it is correctly said to be unchanging, it may not always have been – one can’t infer that, nor that it will always remain unchanging, any more than if you look in the mouse cage and the mouse is dead he must always have been dead. But how would the changing of this order of reality different from what we now see? The key words are “look different” which I maintain does not equal “change” – whereas I believe “look the same” probably does equal “don’t change.” As the E.B. hypnosis experiment indicates, an unlimited number of “look differents” can be crowded into a miniscule amount of RET and the observer (subject) is none the wiser. As the E. of Ph. article and the AI voice’s statement show, he would not suppose that “look differents” were occurring faster but that more time has passed – he would tailor the sense of time flow (whatever that means) to the “look differents.” I rest my case for counterfeit time.

{72} But back to the Q on p. 67, the relationship between astral determinism and time. Time is now seen as a hypostasis of “look differents” so it is the “look differents” which are connected to astral determinism. 1) The “look differents” are not merely observed by the subject but include him as part of them. 2) The “looks differents” are controlled by this “he” who “causes them.” 3) Therefore he controls the subject(s). Presumably, if the “look differents” reverted to a prior state, so would the subject, since he is part of them like any other part. 1) Then if there was a reversion to prior state c. AD 45 whatever subject perceives this would himself revert, which is palpably absurd – but so is the external reversion, by any known system or standard we know of. 2) I saw a reversion to Rome c. AD 45. 3) I reverted in conjunction. What I saw was my world (inc. customs and language in me: a total, different, appropriate to this place and time me). 4) Therefore my self (ego) is a mere “looking” or aspect of seeming. And I am under “his” control, whoever “he” is. 5) This is astral determinism; it does not just determine what my world seems to be but what I seem to be (both experienced incorrectly as esse). So astral determinism doesn’t just control my fate as outcome or final state of my life, or even the course of it, but what I see objectively and experience myself to be. 1) Therefore being freed from astral determinism could involve freedom from the world I am in

{73} (“Geworfenheit”) but my self as well; I would lose both. 2) In 3-74 I did – both. Q: What world replaces the astral determinism world? A: I can only speak of my experience, the answer is the world of Acts. Q: What self replaces the astral-determinism self? A: I can only speak of my experience; it was someone else, at the world of Acts, who I call “Thomas” (he is as different from me as Acts is from U.S.A. 1974). I can’t extrapolate. My real world is Acts and my real self (when astral determinism – i.e. the power of the mysterious “he” – is broken) is “Thomas.” Because of the added AI voice statement, “This is why he smashed things,” I cam made to know that “he” is “James-James,” and I know that James-James is the creator or demiurge, who I have reason to equate with Palmer Eldritch the master magician who is YHWH, the salvific power which breaks astral determinism is another God entirely. From out what I think is a bubble of counterfeit time and counterfeit aspect of reality – i.e. true reality overlaid with fake accretions to make us think that a lot of time has passed since Acts. Summary: the actual time and place is Acts, and we are under the control of what is called astral determinism, which upon close scrutiny turns out to be domination by ignorance regarding our true selves, and true world. Therefore astral

{74} determinism refers to a spurious mode of being regarding world and self – what the Hindu religion calls Maya: delusion. We are so-to-speak manufactured by this structure: the product of it, generated and controlled inside out. Only in such novels as “Ubik,” “Maze,” “Stigmata,” is this situation dealt with. Through in “Tears” and “Scanner” and “Eye” as well as “Imposter,” “Electric Ant,” and” Faith of—“ and you have it all. Ego R.I.P. Worse, we are cut off from our authentic self (state) and world. This is what I must put faith in “Valis,” and the Salvidor Salvandus, the impaired Godhead extricating its own fallen parts, and re-assimilating them. This broad view of astral determinism and its overcoming is fine – but in my case, the firing of the “death strip” DNA signal was aborted, and my life saved – i.e. the destiny aspect. -- {I am told, the 5th savior will take my burden off me – ich unglucklich atlas einewelt, die Graze Welt enschentzen mass ich tragei stolze Henz Und brechtem with min das Hans in leib.} I do not have to carry the burden any longer, nor pave the way (“Make a highway for our Lord”). I will be released – the savior will carry it for me.

{75} In 3-74 there was one cosmological principle which I literally say but could not understand. It was the dialectic progression, but not like any dialectic (e.g. Zoroastrian, Gnostic, Xtian, Mani, etc.) that I know of. They were complimentary and necessary and interacting dual principles – but not even like Empedocles’ system, certainly not good-bad and not even Taoist. I now have read the E.B. article of Dualist Cosmologies (or religions) and I think what I saw is the Nommo-Yurugu dialectic of the Dogon tribe of the Sudan. This is the tribe which has the map of the twin stars Sirius which Bob Wilson writes about. Also, the cosmogony of the Dogon is virtually precisely my two source cosmogony. And Sirius is somehow connected with the Ajna Eye or Eye of Horus. What is important about this realization is that since “the Sirius connection” was already established because of the Ajna Eye, this additional connection would tend to point firmly at – not the Dogon as such – but to that Bob Wilson speculates is the source of the Dogon’s science, and I add, religion. A superior technology is pointed to once again. -- 1) The Sibyl, in speaking about the civil rights leaders murdered by “the conspirators” includes Jim Pike, i.e. stated that Jim Pike was murdered. 2) “Maze” had come out not long before my house was hit on Nov. 17, 1971. 3) That lawyer at St. Jude suggested that the hit had to deal with Jim Pike and material (of a theological nature) turned – or possibly turned – over to me by Jim. 4) Was the hit on my house part of a conspiracy connected to Jim’s murder? What I am thinking of is

{76} an attempt to {find material to} discredit me, which is the theory I present in the {something}}. What makes me think of this is the account in “Cosmic Trigger” of the guy getting heroin sent to him through the mail by the DEA and syndicate and then busted – to discredit him vis-à-vis any testimony he might give re the civil rights leaders’ assassinations, and then fits in with this the Xerox missive later in ’74 (and the response being the supernormal sibyl entity taking me over; factoring out as sibyl entity pitted against the conspirators in my case, and against the whole Nixon tyranny. “Cosmic Trigger” hints at some connection between the superior intelligences and the assassinated conspirators, which is exactly my experience. Something sent in the mail to discredit you – the find you in possession of it. On 3/20/74 the higher intelligence knew that time was of the essence in getting the Xerox missive out of my apartment {but perhaps only secondarily to the Bureau}. And now the AI voice says, “An intelligence officer in the {U.S.} army sent it.”

--- {*} Our universe is a 2-source hologram, but we are in it, not external standpoints to it (i.e. we are participants, not observers), so the delusional power directly affects us, not just indirectly via world (as if we were watching a movie and took it to be real; Plato missed this participatory quality). Then what, if anything, really exists? Do we have bodies? Are we anywhere? What I saw as ultimate reality wasn’t Acts – and “Thomas” in and as me, but the info processing, the info itself,

{77} and the living macrobrain. We are stations or coils which contain phylogenic memory (supratemporal). Everything is nothing but the info (Logos) and brain (Brahman); apparently each of us is given an inner-out self-world arbitrarily locked into “space” and “time” which are just ways of ordering the bits impinging on us. We don’t even have the power to order them into this time or that space; it is programmed for us but there is change (or more accurately “looking differents”) to promote the similitude of time and space. But deep within each of us (it is correct to speak of pluriforms) there is a micro brain as little analog of the unitary macrobrain – this is the great “Tat Tvam Asi” of Brahmanism, there are degrees of awareness, but even these are programmed (being deprogrammed is programmed – the macrobrain never loses control of any station of itself). It would seem that the brain has a wake-sleep cycle. Right now it is asleep, but waking up, It is aware that it is waking up. This is expressed in our worlds as transformations from the lowpoint (age of iron, defined by deterministic mechanical immutable causality) to the age of gold (volitional sentience: each of us remembering and being conscious of our actual sate: participation in the macrobrain of which we each are a microform). In the age of gold we get to be awake and join in ratiocination voluntarily – this is the breaking of “astral determinism.” There is a Salvidor Salvandus which is a sort of mobile agent {1} of the brain which signals us one by one to wake up. The entire authority (power) to accomplish this resides in it, not in us. {1} and voice of the brain’s

{78} There is a level above that of the macrobrain; it is loving void, non-functional; no info nor info-processing is there. This is the noös of the brain and does not exist. We go there when we are through with our functioning as stations of the brain; that is our true reward. Until then we are born again and again (or seem to be – actually we just keep on functioning within the timeless brain) (and are given a succession of selves and worlds) (all counterfeit – although in all fairness I should note that their counterfeiting is necessary, or we’d die of sensory deprivation) (it is sensory deprivation that allows us to come to awareness of our true state) (that and the emergency terror of being close to death). Xenophanes and Parmenides, between them, had it pretty well figured out – they and the Hindu thinkers. --- I happened to read the E. of Ph. article on Brahmanism, and find under “epistemology” the principle of parsimony applied to the question of whether there is an external universe separate from the sense impressions (impinging data) of it. The arguments runs that since the “external universe” could arise within the precept system itself (as in dreams) or God could cause us to merely think we experienced a separate external universe, and that

{79} no sense-datum and an external datum can be distinguished from each other, the notion of an external universe is superfluous and violates the principle of parsimony. For me, however, I achieved saintliness and the “higher truth,” that then is only Brahman and Atman (the macrobrain, which push-pull fires world and self back and forth, so for me it isn’t a logical question but rather one of revelation (heightened experience/perception). Yes, God (i.e. Brahman) does cause us to think we experience world; we do in fact experience it, but it is a participatory two-part illusion: self (ego) and world locked together and rigidly determined. What we call “evil” or “disorder” is simply the perception that reality is not so arranged as to (1) help us individually, or (2) make sense to us. But reality is not for our individual benefit but for the macrobrain’s: its interests are never subordinated to ours. This has to be so, since we are portions of it. If its interests were sacrificed, ultimately we – all existence – would die. “I am the breath of my creator, and as he breathes {in and out} I live.” Basically, the macrobrain controls us this way: external signal (stimulus) O (Self) DNA response The self (ego) is caught in the middle, at a transaction between the inner DNA and the outer stimuli which are rigidly coordinated

{80} by the macrobrain. It is the total macrobrain signaling to itself. Best to kick back, relax, and enjoy it – since we’re asleep (and robots) anyhow. This is what is known as Karma or astral determinism, this sleep state. But the macrobrain is evolving toward the consciousness. --- The transfer to my head of the info about Christopher was typical – not atypical – of what the macrobrain continually does; only in this case I was aware of it doing it. But info processing, transferring, etc. is precisely what it does. Zebra is the macrobrain. Because of my heightened perception in 3-74 I was aware consciously, not subliminally, of the info transfer. So that “beam of pink light bearing info” is proof that my vision and concept that we’re part of a vast brain is accurate. So the transfer was not an anomaly: nor did it indicate the presence of an entity other than the brain. This is what it does normally. Then how does Zebra differ from the brain? Isn’t volitional (sentient) overrule inherent in the structure itself? If the Hindu epistemological position

{81} cited above is brought into play either: 1) I melted the causal trains, and Zebra is a projection of my psyche 2) or I just saw Brahman qua world – i.e. saw world properly as sentient and volitional (the macrobrain). What happened to the invader aspect of Zebra, a cornerstone of my Exegesis? The upper and lower realms – are they the “two levels of truth” of Hinduism? Two ways of perceiving on my part? A revelation, not an invasion? The answer is that world (“reality”) is not real, but Zebra is. This must be faced. What Zebra modulated is hologrammatic. The hologram was invaded in a sense – but in terms of my perception of it only. I was seeing the hologram (“world”) replaced by what is actually there: macrobrain, which is alive. Thus an invasion did take place, but it was one of hierarchical orders of reality, with the upper realm sentient, alive and purposeful, and the lower not only merely causal but not real. Zebra to world is spider to web – Zebra as world-weaver. In its own artifact, so in a sense God (Brahman) was impinging directly on my senses. Since my ego and world are interwoven: a single irreality. Then what I’ve overlooked is that Zebra is not entirely outside me – separate from me, but partly within my own percept system.

{82} It can even be argued that the microbrain in me (atman) was involved in the sentient reweaving (but not solely involved). The weaver (Zebra) was impersonal and not-me. But to locate it externally – the internal-external dualism may have been transcended by mind embracing both. And what has become of “Geworfenheit”? I was in a sense rewoven: 1) What I saw was alive. 2) It was in but not in the world; the world turned (?) into it – or it turned into the world. World was a state or condition it took (that is closer to it: it was prior to world in some sense; world had reverted back from its dead state to its living it had resumed volitional functioning. Like waking up? As analogous to my atman waking up? It stirred, not was stirred. No – Zebra invaded and overrode. Entered its own artifact. Was Zebra smaller than world? No. Larger. And this was not panpsychism. World became plastic in the face (impinging) of mind. Mind exerted direct pressure on it (and on me, e.g. in the pink beam firing into me). Zebra abolished world qua world. What if Zebra and World are regarded as two modes of one being? Zebra equals awake and world is the same thing asleep. Actually, I phrased it correctly initially above: “the world turned into it” not “it turned into the world.” I saw world first; then it became volitional. Yes, world reverted back from its dead state or sleeping state: it unfroze. As if world were a temporary state, and it resumed its true one – cease to pose (or ascend) the aspect of causal world. That makes the world a pose or fiction –

{83} ah – I have it. The living reality played dead to blend in: camouflage. That was and is my key term: camouflage. So that it looked like world and couldn’t be told from it. Mimicking, mimesis, playing dead, to blind in: yes – indistinguishable from world. No way our senses could do a set-ground discrimination. I was only aware of it by its activity: when it acted; otherwise, when blending, even in my heightened state I couldn’t have discerned it. So there is no way to say how much of world it has replaced – i.e. what percent and which parts are world and which parts it. This is not panpsychism and maybe not immanent deity, but a UT, systematically replacing (“transubstantiating progressively”) world. I have no reason to believe it created world in the first place – no; it appears to have invaded world, and by playing dead could not be told from it; not until it acted. Like a vast body of an organism. It was as if certain parts of world (reality) stirred: and all which stirred was a single organism distributed here and there, but unitary. It was energy – plasmate – which could appear hypostasized as matter by just posing as things (matter). It is not a thing (matter); but when at rest appears to our senses indistinguishable from matter, as if it slows down. It deliberately slows itself down to the pace, rate, or level or world. I am certain this is correctly formulated,

{84} but what is its relation to the macrobrain and its info? I’d say, it is the macrobrain, and it arranges matter to form information, using world as a carrier of information. A carrier, yes, that’s why the term modulation occurs to me; it modulates reality into a vehicle for information. It arranges reality into information, which is a way of ordering reality. This is exactly what it did, also, with “Tears,” arranged it and was it! Used the total novel (actually book) as a modulated carrier. Yes – this explains the apparent theological dualism of it interception (fielding) the Xerox missive: if it was all reality, it’d be in effect fighting itself. So a priori I can deduce it is not everything. It “transubstantiated” me; modulated me into a carrier. Or could one say it modulates reality (inc. me) into information, not just a carrier for? Then the macrobrain is reality modulated into a carrier or into information itself – and it was quite extensive. That’s its only purpose in controlling the arrangement of reality, to convert it into information, inc. me, since I had at an earlier time been incorporated into it and was a carrier for info (in my writing). This explains the content of my writing and the 3-74 intervention into but. But this discloses that we and world can be made plastic (“in the face of mind” – it is mind that’s involved here.)

{85} Let’s recall why I sent a copy of “Tears” to Diane Pike: because I thought that the dream in which the helmeted knights come to kill “the man shut up in the house” i.e. given in the novel as Jason Taverner (who is innocent of any crime but if framed as murderer in an actual death) somehow referred to Jim’s death. (And by extension to the conspirators and the civil rights leaders’ assassinations.) Or, the message is one of punishment for those assassinations – punishment by the “Great White Brotherhood” which they may be, thus referring {as well} to the overthrow, the needed overthrow of the Nixon tyranny. “Tears” could be said to present the U.S. which the police apparatus would like to see established; in “Tears” then goals got completed, down to specific details. As one reviewer said, “In this novel the civil rights movements of the sixties seem to have failed,” – it is an alternate Earth. (What I call Track A). Maybe “Tears” disclosed the masterplan of Cointelpro {?} and the thinking behind it. But it is then invaded by the wise old king (and knights) who passes judgments of culpability. If “Ubik” is correct, Zebra is the Logos or the mystical body of Christ, which was the impression I had in 2-74/3-74/2-75. The Dogon fish God Nommo. Fish sign in its original form, standing for “Brotherhood of Sirius”? Maybe my fish dreams (all 3 or 4) refer to Nommo. If Nommo is an archetype in my phylogenic memory, I am from Sirius (or the plasmate is, and I’m a homoplasmate) and have been for decades.

{86} Then the Xerox missive came from those motivated by Yurugu, and I know specifically who sent it, which fits in with the information in “Tears.” But these are mind considerations. The real consideration is Zebra playing dead so as to be undetectable – and firing info at my via a beam of pink light, and modulating reality (inc. me) into info or as a carrier for info. I had the clue all the time in the word “modulates” – as in frequency modulation or amplitude modulation, and Zebra is the info which is alive, and replicates (or rather proliferates) itself through (or as) info, e.g. in “Tears,” etc. an informational universe (cf. “Cosmic Trigger”) (where this possibility is mentioned in passing as one possibility.) This fits in with the “AI” voice giving me info late at night; it doesn’t just talk; everything which it utters is info, and vital (to me) info. Interspecies bonding (v. “Cosmic Trigger”), homoplasmate, my dreams of being a fish – even eaten (by the Jews as symbolized by Bob Silverberg). I as a pluriform of Nommo (Christ). “Fish can’t carry guns.” And I dreamed of the winged globe {Drawing of a circle with wings}, and it was golden. Firebright. Horus. Osiris. --- Obviously in 3-74 my DNA gene pool memory fired (phylogenic memory) and the DNA programming “burned itself up” (“astral determinism” expired) at the same time. There is therefore a visible connection between anamnesis (phylogenic memory stored in the DNA) and the breaking of DNA control (Karma). Except that the phylogenic personality took over completely, which seems contradictory to astral determinism being broken; isn’t phylogenic memory as determinism?

{87} Phylogenic memory and override of DNA programming and interspecies symbiosis. Bob Wilson: at circuit VIII space-time is obliterated… “The greatest is within the smallest.” “The contelligence {?} within the quantum projection booth is the entire cosmic ‘brain.’ Just as the micro-miniaturized DNA helix is the local brain guiding planetary evolution.” This is the highest state humans can reach. I would guess that this “contelligence” is the override of the “micro-miniaturized DNA helix local brain” which I experienced as “Thomas” :viz.: “There is someone else inside my head and he is not living in this century,” and “Someone in this room is outside of time,” and “I am your tutelary spirit,” and “I have plenary {once also stated as plenipotentiary} power.” --- At the age of iron Brahman is asleep and has exhaled its micro-pluriforms as far from it as they be: they are sunk in ignorance, deformation and forgetfulness and sleep then the 2-part cycle starts them waking up, remembering, losing their occlusion: they are again in touch with Brahman (“cosmic intelligence”); then are inhaled, Brahman awakes – back “up” o “in,” and Shiva is the presiding God with his Dibba Cachu {?} eye, which annihilates the world and frees the pluriforms of Brahman by virtue of his lending them Ajna discernment (enlightenment). The 5th or final savior has come, this time as kind and judge. He calls his own {sheep} and destroys the others: this planet has served its purpose.

{88} It was as if my DNA tape was tricked (confused) into losing its clock-synchronized measured firing, and so fired the entire remainder of its programming at furious velocity – into the void; i.e. not synchronized with the outer tape: “external reality” – it needed no disinhibiting stimuli, etc., but simply exhausted its contents – even up to and including a postmortem existence. This tricking was done by emerging terror at the nearness of death, and sensory deprivation, plus the revelation of the fish sign and anamnesis, which may have started the DNA’s disorientation (and was so calculated to do), as to what the true time actually was (see supra my pages on how the organism seems to measure time: by rate of change alone). This DNA tape may have been fashioned to serve for more than this (i.e. one) lifetime. In which case my Karma may have burned itself up, freeing me from the wheel of rebirth. I am no longer a DNA robot. The outer (“external reality”) tape, of course, remained intact, since its flow-rate is not dependent on anything in me. But still, my programmed response to the Xerox missive did not take place. I was conscious at the time of programming, I was afraid it would succeed, but it didn’t; the override worked, and in time (time was of the essence). What I don’t normally realize is that had my DNA programmed response to the Xerox missive been acted out (whatever it would have been)

{89} the rest of my life would have been determined. That it was a cointelpro trap I have no doubt of, although I can’t determine if they would have busted me for possessing the Xerox missive or if they hoped I’d answer it. I guess they’d of had me either way.

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existence. I stress the two aspects: 1) Physical resurrection of the early Xtian dead is involved. 2) + they are fully restored to the original pre-fall state (what I call homoplasmates). I had not realized before that both aspects are involved. Perhaps I will never understand the mechanics involved, but I do know that (1) + (2) are taking place, + these are two basic promises of the N.T. What remains are: 3) The defeat of Satan (i.e. the blowing up of the BIP, the "Cave of Treasures" + restoration of man to his home, the Gardenland). (With its vast spaces in which one can see all [levels of] creation.) (This, too, seems to be taking place.) +: 4) Return of the rightful king + judge (Rex Felix). ("Tears" + other evidence -prophecies- seem to point to this either now happening or soon to happen.) These four aspects are the total N.T. Kerygma as I understand it. This analysis is a milestone in my exegesis. Do you suppose that the resurrection (1) + restoration (2) make it possible for us to see (3) being accomplished + finally (4)? That there is a causal connective in this 1, 2, 3, 4 sequence? The physical resurrection of the early Xtian (1) brings about a restoration of the pre-fallen "Man of Bright Nature" (2), by whose enhanced faculties the prison is seen, +, in conjunction with God, these "homoplasmates" -as I call them- blow up the prison + release men back to their original home, the Gardenland (3); God, in assisting + doing this, at first concealed, at last makes his visible reappearance as King + Judge here (4). So these four elements are listed in chronological + causal -not arbitrary- sequence.

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{1} October 10, 1978 Kerygma at this point: We created a fake world, went down into it voluntarily, and voluntarily shed our memories, and can’t get back out, but would like to. However, foreseeing this, we providentially laid down clues in advance, to remind us, when the going got too tough. These reminders would not only restore our memories of identity but also our powers, which we voluntarily let get occluded. Thus we descended into difficulties but not into a closed trap. We were brave, and willing to suffer, but not foolish. Perhaps we made an intellectual error in taking this delusional world for real, or deciding to take it for real; in any case we were smart enough to set the machinery for automatic extrication. Our motive for descending could be that we would not force our creatures to endure anything we would not endure. And for us to endure it we would have to strip ourselves of memory and supernatural (divine) faculties, and be like our creatures in every way – except that our reminder-clues would eventually start the extricating process, given enough time. I cannot believe that we made a moral error; i.e. sinned and were expelled from the gardenland, exiled to the prison, by our own creator. How could the creator occlude us, exile us, place us in the prison? How could he be responsible for taking the garden away from us? I do not believe it. Somehow we got trapped by the prison; i.e. trapped by the narrow, dark world, under the vast, light-filled garden. After much thought I am convinced that we chose to get trapped, although by setting up clues to remind us we kept it from being a trap. It is a prison with a door which we carefully left open by which to make our escape. The Savior is our own undescended self, our own unexiled and unoccluded self; i.e. our pristine self. We are all the parties involved: the creator, the master magician who rules this prison realm, the savior. We are the creatures to be saved. Tat tvam asi, is what I say. The fact that we are in a prison does not prove that we made a moral error. That is faulty reasoning, occlude reasoning – typically occluded reasoning. I admit that we may have originally made an epistemological error in taking this realm to be real, which it is not. But final analysis I think it was a deliberate choice. Therefore we have this consolation: our suffering was voluntarily assumed. I have evidence of the reminder-clues; this evidence serves then as evidence of a voluntary coming here, and a foreknowing of the problems involved, the possibility of getting stuck and needing an automatic way back out. I reason back from the clues to the original situation: inductive reasoning but still convincing to me. Had it been an accidental or involuntary “intellectual error” would those reminder-clues have been set up beforehand? {2} “the first book of Adam and Eve” “… and God commanded him [Adam] to dwell there in a cave in a rock – the cave of treason {treasure?}; below the garden. “… and as they came to [the cave of {treasures}] Adam wept over himself and said to Eve, ‘Look at this cave that is to be our prison in this world, and a place of punishment: What is it compared with the Garden? What is its narrowness compared with the space of the other? What is this rock, by the side of those groves? What is the gloom of this cavern, compared with the light of the garden? What is this overhanging ledge of rock to shelter us, compared with the mercy of the Lord that overshadowed us? What is the soil of this cave compared with the garden-land? This earth, strewed with stones, and that, planted with delicious fruit trees?’ And Adam said to Eve, ‘Look at thine eyes, and at mine, which afore beheld angels in heaven, praising; and they, too, without ceasing. But now we do not see as we did: our eyes have become flesh; they cannot see in like manner as they saw before.’ And Adam said again to Eve, ‘What is our body today, compared to what it was in former days, when we dwelt in the Garden?’ After this Adam did not like to enter the cave, under the overhanging rock, nor would he ever have entered it. But he bowed to God’s orders; and said to himself,

{2} ‘Unless I enter the cave, I shall again be a transgressor.’ “Adam raised his eyes, and saw the rock on the roof of the cave that covered him overhead so that he could see neither heaven, nor God’s creatures. So he wept…” “and the Lord said unto Adam and Eve, ‘You transgressed of your own free will, until you came out of the garden in which I had placed you of your own free will you transgressed through your desire for divinity, greatness, and an exalted state, such as I have; so that I deprived you of the bright nature in which you there were, and I made you come out of the garden to this land rough and full of trouble.’ “Then Adam wept and said, ‘O God, when we dwell in the garden, and our hearts were lifted up, we saw the angels that sang praises in heaven, but now we do not see as we were used to do; now when we entered the cave, all creation be {page becomes diagonal and much of it is unreadable due to a poor scan}

{4} Will bring thee back into the garden, thee and thy righteous seed.’ And God ceased to communicate with Adam. “[They] came and entered the cave of treasures but when in it Adam could not see Eve, he only heard the noise she made. Neither could she see Adam, but heard the noise he made. “[He] said to Eve, ‘Where art thou?’ and she said unto him, ‘Lo, I am standing in this darkness.’ He then said to her, ‘remember the bright nature in which we lived, when we abode in the garden? O Eve! Remember the glory that rested on us in the Garden, o Eve!~ remember the trees that overshadowed us in the garden while we moved among them o Eve! Remember that while we were in the garden, we knew neither night nor day. Think of the tree of life from below which flowed the water, and that shed luster over us! Remember, o eve, the garden-land, and the brightness thereof! Think, oh think of that garden in which was no darkness, while we dwelt there in whereas no sooner did we come into this cave of treasures than darkness composed all round about; until we could no longer see each other; and all the pleasure of this life has come to an end. “’For I [God] made thee of the light, and I willed to bring out children of light from thee and like unto thee. But though didst not heed one day my commandment.

{5} “’…until the fulfillment of my covenant; where I will save thee and bring thee back again into the Garden, into the abode of light which these longest for, wherein is no darkness. I will bring thee to it – in the kingdom of heaven… all this misery that thou hast been made to take upon thee because of thy transgression, {?} not free thee from the hand of Satan, and will not save thee. But I will. When I shall come down from heaven, and shall become flesh of thy seed, and take upon me the infirmity from which thou sufferest, then the darkness that came upon thee is this cave shall come upon me in the grave, when I am the flesh at thy seed. And I, who am without years, shall be subject to the {reckoning} of the years, of times of months, and of days, and I shall be reckoned as me of the sons of men, in order to save them. Thus the occlusion of faculties, but the promise of restoration, back to the garden, which is the kingdom. It is specifically said, we are now in a dark prison which is small – and the garden was vast (of my sense of augmented space in 3-74, as well as my perception that we were living in a prison; and then eleven months later I was briefly in the garden) so small dark prison and perceptual occlusion vs vast garden of light and full perception: 1) Bip vs the PTG. 2) Occlusion (blindness) vs seeing what is afar^1 Exactly what I experienced ^1 ie higher levels of creation!

{6} So my contrast of BIP/PTG, occlusion or blindness/seeing higher levels of creation is a basic Jewish-Christian {substation} of worldview and one of the most basic, and entirely in accord with orthodoxy. By 2-74 to 2-75 experience was a restoration 1) of my faculties (ie myself to what I originally was); and 2) I was removed from the BIP and from the power of the BIP and restored to the Gardn, the kingdom of God, in fulfillment of God’s promise, via Christ. My original bright nature (of light) was restored, and I was taken back home. To where I originally came from. Restored person, restored place, all conditions, inner (me) and outer (world) as they should be, and had once been. Out of the dark narrow prison! Is there a causal relationship between restored person and restored place? Can you have one without the other? And I causually connected, which is caused which is effect, or are they just inner-outer parallel equals? A dual (binary) restoration? Am I one of the “second Adam” race? And how many other people has this happened to? More important, does my inner (self)/outer (world) restoration signify (signal) that the time of the fulfillment of God’s promise (of salvation) has at least, (historically, generally) come? I have reason indeed to believe that it has come: 1) The St. Sophia prophecy. 2) The Buddha prophecy. 3) The head Apollo prophecy. 4) The “the time you’ve waited for has come” statement 5) The dream and code in “Tears” 6) The AI voice of my 2-74 – 2-75 experience in themselves 7) The overthrow by God of Nixon.

{7} This list of seven indications is overwhelmingly impressive. What other conclusion that that the 2nd advent has come could be reached? IF I reject this, I must assume I am unique in the whole scheme of things, which is absurd. Obviously I am not unique, an anomaly – OBVIOUSLY I and my experience are part of a vast supernatural unfolding. What I feel I’ve here in these six pages is: 1) The BIP which I saw in 3-74 and realize we’re in is the “cave of treasures” to which we were exiled when we were expelled from the garden, in some sense it is beneath the garden. 2) The PTG which I entered briefly in 2-75 is our original home, the garden-land. 3) The augmentation of my faculties in 3-74 was in fact a restoration of me to the original not fallen proper state associated with our first place (Garden) and condition. 4) And that this restoration, inner and outer, was triggered all by the [golden] fish (Christ) sign proves that 1, 2 and 3 are so, and that they are accomplished through Christ, as promised. And I saw Zebra, who I think is Christ, he was “melting” the iron prison, the causal bars that hold us in thrall. I was granted all this immediately upon the successful completion of my appointed task: telling the good news in “Tears.” This immediate salvation is actually a further piece of proof. I was thereby enabled to read

{8} What had been written through me in “tears.” Wait- I see something important. “You aren’t to tell that you’re an early xtian.” Why? Because the resurrecting of the early xtians {Curhich} happened in was in 2-3(74; ie Thomas and my anamnesis) is an absolute sign that the 2nd advent is about to take place. Talk about exultance! This piece is truly startling. Like astral returning (signaling the return of the Golden age) the rebirth (now) of the original Christians points to only one thing, and of course their identity (locale; ie who they’re resurrected in) must be kept secret so I deduce that I (or rather Thomas) is one of a number of them. I brought back, for openers, in connection with the Nixon (Roman) overthrow. The early xtians being resurrected (now) are the sold homoplasmates (i.e. restored-to-our-original-stamen; see supra 6 pages); they are not fallen like us, but are, as promised, renewed. This, too, fills with scripture; they died, and are reborn this way: as we were before the fall. It was Thomas who had the enhanced {reinory} and percept faculties, and was able to see the BIP and knew about it –had fought it- and entered at last the PTG. So homoplasmate=unfallen (or fallen and then restored) men= resurrected early xtians. This is all in accord with scripture; fundamentals of it in fact.

{9} Existence. I stress the two aspects: 1) Physical resurrection of the early xtain dead is involved. 2) And they are fully restored to the original pre-fall state (what I call homoplasmates) I had not realized before that both aspects are involved. Perhaps I will never understand the mechanics involved. But I do know that (1) and (2) are taking place, and these are two basic promises of the text. What remains are: 3) The defeat of Satan (ie the blowing up of the BIP, the “cave of treasures” and restoration of man to his home. The Gardenland), (with its vast spaces in which he can set all [levels of creation) (This, too, seems to be taking place.) and: 4) Return of the rightful king and judge. ({Rex and Felix}) (“Tears” and other evidence –prophecies, - seem to point to this either now happening or soon to happen.) These four aspects are the total N.T. kerygma as I understand it. This analysis is a milestone in my exegesis. Do you suppose that the resurrection (1) and restoration (2) make it possible for us to see (3) being accomplished and finally (4)? That there is a causal correlation in this 1,2,3,4 sequence? The physical resurrection of the early xtian (1) brings about a restoration of the pre-fallen “{Flaw} of Bright nature” (2), by whose enhanced faculties the prison is seem, and, in conjunction with God, these “homoplasmates,” –as I call them- blow up the prison and release men back to their original home. The Garden Land (3); God, in assisting and doing this, at first concealed at last makes his visible reappearance as King and Judge here (4), so these four elements are listed in chonological and caual –not arbitrary- sequence.

{11} That it was not limited to one but was a vast historical upheaval is proved by 1) The “Re{x, v} Felix” dream and code in “Tears” obviously directed by someone plural. 2) And the overthrow of the Nixon tyranny, the most powerful tyrant the Empire has ever possessed. So actual – as contrasted to spurious- time moved forward in 1974, due to God’s (“Zebra’s”) in {breaking} it picked up where it left off in CADYS. _ “A vortex in the hologram,” ? Synchronicity or control of synchronicity. _ And one early xtian can be physically resurrected, and in his pre-fallen “bright” state (what will; it is not measureable to associate it’s limited to one out of x; and the code message in “Tears” would verify this. And if they are out of the prison and restored back to the Garden – if every one is- then the Garden exists. The garden in all sense is a place. But in another sense it is a state that of being free of (“above”) the prison and its narrowness. It is vast, and in it one can see all levels of creation: God and the angels above, not “a ledge of rock.” The garden is obviously one level up from the “cave of treasures.” There is one thing to do with “being able to see objects afar” us ^see {?} mere “fleshy eyes,” which I well understand, the prison perceptual occlusion is visual (although auditory challs are impaired, too). I experienced this return of proper vision and said, “I have been blind, but now for the first time I can see.” This has to do with augmented versus reduced perception of space and, seen, too, is what extended present, stretching over 2000 years of time.

{12} The info traffic, and zebra the macro brain, and finally the abyss. There is great ambiance to sound it’s like distant bells. In the book of Adam and Eve, as in Genesis, it said that God Himself (1) occluded us; and (2) exiled from the Garden to the prison as punishment for our transgression. He did it to us and now he undoes it. We are deformed and in exile, cut off from him. But he took me back, through Christ (perhaps as {advocate viz} “if anyman have sinned, he has an advocate with the Father.”) God has dispatched a savior to restore it. Is this a selective salvation (“my sheep know one voice.”)? it is not based on merit, perhaps. But is predestined (which Will Durant calls “that awful doctrine” –of Augustine’s). But it must be so, it can’t be based on merit; all of Paul’s writing makes this clear. Merit is just another name for fulfilling the Law. We can’t earn our way back. The decision is {clear} and the basis is impossible for us to know; that is a fact. There are no known criteria there is absolutely no evidence that any given act or group of acts leads to it, so pragmatically, effectively, it is predestination de facto. IF we can’t know what will do it we can’t be sure that anything will do it, anyway, if we don’t know, it’s the same thing. The initiation is God’s. The decision is God’s. The logic is God’s. There probably is a pattern, a logic; it probably is not capricious – a whim. I know that in 3-74 some kind of “Karmic” determinism over me was broken. That was the power of our enslavement. Salvation = freedom, which I now construe as the burden of punishment; the exile and deformity. The narrowing of the cave of treasures and release from the “inner-outer take” that I discerned which the system locks us into. Then is is the normal system; the way it works. The way it’s supposed to work. There may be no dualistic religion here. {doubt} of hierarchy of levels. We were reduced by the same power that extricates us.

{13} This could be so: I did see an integration mechanism, a vast machine which effectively formations. (I saw us being signaled instructions – {said} of lights, and of course verbal and graphic linked messages that control (engram) us.) But I did see a black {ikm} prison under attack like a heavy metal speck stuck in an organism like a phagocytosis process. There was certainly a dialectic interchange involved. This makes our stint here a sort of probation outside the Gardenland, our trial, our ordeal, what we have to learn. I suppose I could think of it in terms of initiation into the higher mysteries, as in “the {magic} flute,” after the trials. There is something secret about it; e.g. I am told by the voice not to tell that I was an early xtian (resurrected, and with the bright originally unfallen nature intact: what I call a homoplasmate). And I generally feel a reluctance to make a discovery and theories, and revelations public. This is distinctly not pistis xtianity but, I guess, gnostic (or even {heretical}). Christ as high priest who performs the exculpatory of salvific act (nites), although most of my system is orthodox. Still, the whole disclosure that we are in prison (the cave of treasures) –it is orthodox and yet it is not, for I conceive of an evil deity imprisoned us, the master magician (ie Palmer Eldritch). I see us as unjustly imprisoned; we may have made a plane ordinal error. But it was intellectual, not moral, love mistook this spurious world for reality. Thus we labor under a delusion, and it is one thrust on us calculatedly. This counterfeit world was deliberately designed to fool us, through an adventitious agency (the savior) we must be made to see it is

{14} Irreal; as in “Scanner” we are unaware of our occlusion and hence where we are. That is very basic and very important- we made a primordial error, all right, and, as in the Book of Adam and Eve it led to our exclusion from our primordial original home, the garden, and imprisonment in this prison. But the error was intellectual, taking the irreal to be real. The road to salvation is an epistemological one, not ethical – but it is useless for us to try on our own, since the specific nature of our occlusion defeats us. Only Christ can save the like {runciter} or Ubik, from “outside.” We die and are born here again and again, no more enlightened each time, unless he intervenes. At a single bold stroke the delusive power of this world, this prison, must be broken over us, as it was with me in 2-3/74. But my 25 years of writing and world view have to precede 2-3/74, had to lead up to it. Thus I say, my writing is an antidote to the delusion, to the occlusion (intoxication). Since the original error (“sin”) is intellectual, not moral then the antidote is knowledge; and the installment of that salvific gnosis is pansophiaism . the secret agents of that gnosis are invisible {themetic} paracelsusian adepts, and the goal of it is the creation of what I call homo plasm. {teig throw} the mystical conjunction (wedding). Because of the seel-world push-pull system which I believe exists there is no way to demonstrate the intellectual error (the spuriousness of world and rather worlds plural). Thus the savior, who enters the situation from outside, is necessary. Once his faculties were restored and I could see him (Zebra)

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board game, the ultimate board game! However, as intellectually stimulating as the theory might be - however thrilling the prospect of the contest between "us who know" (ie Minds) + "that which defeats Being Known" (ie the world-maze with its quasi-mind), in practice we immediately + totally succumbed. If a principle were dredged up it would be:

Mind, confronted by the impossible-to-know, loses, however great its capacity, efforts + resources (in our hubris we deemed the truth of this).

So God must rescue us. Hence Zebra.

IF the purpose of this exegesis is to develop an overview in which my (3-74) experience (+ by extension the Kerygma of my writing) makes sense, I may (due to Pat Warrick's help) have succeeded. What I could most seek (hope for) would be a cosmogony + cosomology in which Zebra was not just possible but necessary. This has required me to reach for Gnostic acosmism, cybernetics, info theory, +, most of all, to exegete the 3-74 revelation (Gnosis) itself as the court of last appeal (ie the AI voice + what it has told me). It has also required a lot of hard reading (inc. my own writing) + disciplined thought. I wind up with the notion of an irreal Maze world which we created + then got caught in, + are being extricated from by God through a reversal of the primordial ontological ignorance (ie by equally ontological knowledge - revealed knowledge, + the revealor, Zebra which amounts to an invasion by God - or ultimate + real Noos - into this calculatedly inexplicable irreal world which half-consciously thwarts the hopes + expectations of all life by the introduction of the anti-expected.

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The only constant + true constituent is in fact not a constituent of this world, bt as depicted in "Ubik" enters one way from outside, the Vortex dei.

The fact that after 4 1/2 years of strenuous exegesis, whereupon I have reached these conclusions (not to mention 27 years of published writing) I now find myself being signalled to die - which effectively makes it impossible for me to put this Gnosis in a form which I can publish - is a condition which can be deduced from my Exegesis itself, + shows I'm on the right intellectual path, but to no avail. I am not extricated by my Exegesis but by Zebra (Christ) back in 2-3-74. The Exegesis would have provided the basis for a broad, explicated formulation to sow broadcast, but of course this can never come about; these insights will die with me. All I have is a three folder high stack of chicken-scratchings of no use to anyone else, as K.W. tirelessly points out. To heap the burning coals of anti-meaning on me, I also have a lot of money for the only time in my life, but with no use to which I can care to put it. My personal attack - war - against anti-meaning (by means of my mind) has gone the way of our collective primordial defeat at the hands - I should say Quasi-Mind - of the Maze; I merely recapitulate the ancient, original losing by mind in this exquisitely sophisticated board game which we so cunningly devised for our delectation. This past time is once more the death of one of us - but this time I am, entirely through Christ, extricated - "taken out of this world." I did not win; Christ won me for his own, so vis-a-vis me alone the Maze as always won, + I did not realize this, naturally, until it was too late to retreat back out intact. Omnial via ad mitis.

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folder 22 - 031


In a sense my 4 1/2 years of exegesis can be regarded as a further successful stategem by the Maze, in opposition to the Gnosis crossbonded onto me in (3-74) which at that time gave me life - I gave up that life via my compulsion to relentlessly exegete. But I see one further irony - one which amuses me (my only exit from this trap): here is additional proof of the quality (success) of our original craftsmanship, so this final (?) victory of the Maze over me, despite Zebra (Christ) is in a paradoxical way my victory as a creative artist. (The Maze regarded as our work of art). After all, the Maze is a product of our minds. If the Maze wins, our minds win (are proven). If, upon entering the Maze, we out-think it, again our minds win. Ambiguity is involved in either outcome (this may be the puzzling dialectic revealed to me in 3-74.

In fact, maybe in my 27 years of writing I outwitted the Maze - as witness the 3 Bantam Novels, "Tears," + "Scanner." Speaking about me personally, I won in pitting myself intellectually against the Maze; I figured its nature out - in which case 3-74 was the jackpot payoff reward, the revelation you get for so doing.

This puts a somewhat different light on Zebra. What I'm saying here is that the Game is so constructed that you wander around in the Maze interminably until you figure it out, + then as a culmination of the intellectual deciphering process you get told, "yes you are right about

1. In fake time

Last edit 24 days ago by Max
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22 - Notes


The burning up of "astral determinism" equals the burning up of occlusion.

When the occlusion is burned up USA 1974 disappears + ACTS appears.

An appropriate inner self surfaces which recognizes + remembers ACTS as familiar, as its world. This personality is released by the burning up of the occlusion. Conclusion: the "astral determinism" causes us to see a world which isn't really there.

Very few people have their "astral determinism" burned up. This burning up is what is meant by salvation + is the main purpose of the Greco-Roman mystic religions, Gnosticism + Xtianity.

What is going on? "Astral determinism" doesn't just program your destiny; it occludes you off from the real world + causes you to experience a spurious world instead. The real world consists mainly of the Logos + God. The Logos breaks the "astral determinism" + burns it up.

We are being fed a spurious reality. Only in rare cases are people "doomed" to be saved -- i.e. to experience reality. In reality the rupture between man + God is abolished. Original conditions are restored.

Is this a punishment being lifted?

It's as if there is an inner mystery. This fits the "secrecy" theme of Luke. It has to do with the


"Kingdom of God" or "of the spirit." It's not something future; it is really here now. The savior is here now, in a cosmic body. I saw him. Why isn't this exoterically revealed? Why is it kept for the few? It is so kept; the voice told me so:

"One by one he is drawing us out of this world." "You are not to tell that you're a secret Xtian." + how do my novels fit into this? They, esp. the three Bantam novels, seem to depict the situation: false world imposed over real world - + we are stationary, not in space-time.

We're in a condition, not a world. Some of us are taken out as a fulfillment, a culmination of a long process which burns up the occlusion -- we were never really here + apart from God; it was a spurious world, like a spell, like wizardry.

We are like ripening fruit, or grain or crops or a flock growing to maturity. But only a few get picked (selected) -- + then the masks come off + we see the truth. What are we really? Only the metaphors of the parables express it. The disciples are still alive because no time has passed -- time: an illusion imposed on us, like world. We have no concepts or language to express what we really are + where we really are. "Homoplasmate" expresses the successful goal of our growth. Cross bonding -- we are being grown in a stationary fashion, +, when ripe, are cross bonded with a plasmate, + the illusion removed. Our lives as humans


are just preparation, with no purpose except to "mature" us to the point where we are picked for cross bonding. Then we come to life -- an immortal life outside of time, as in bonded to another species. One which is here camouflaged. We're picked like flowers -- but just some of us. Only dim, blurred intimations of this reach us (apparently on purpose). We're like beings cultivated in an ecosphere. Simulated world is fed to us; we are given lessons, taught, given problems, tested + judged. It's not quite a teaching machine; this is more a greenhouse with us as a crop. Are we supposed to deny + hence abolish world -- i.e. become aware that it's a delusion? Are there clues? Is this the test? Our ability to discern it as fake? And did I do so -- + demonstrate I did so -- via/in my writings? In other words, must we be able on our own to discern the fakery to obtain release from it? As if a wizard has us in thrall, like Klingson?

A complex act of moral-perceptual denial must take place, an insight: it can't be real, which is a correct appraisal; otherwise it never goes away. Despite what our senses report, somehow awareness (enlightenment) is available to us in some kind of reasoning or satori or cognition or leap of realization: "this is not so!" Like in "Ubik"; the sleepers must monitor their [spurious] reality + figure out from internal evidence that it is spurious. This has to do with


memory. Somehow we've been -- what? Captured? Been poisoned (intoxicated)? Are we prisoners in the Kingdom of Darkness (of "tears" qua world)? If radical idealist epistemological skepticism is applied to world, + is sincerely believed, a miracle happens; the dibba cacchu {dibba cakkhu} 3rd eye opens + we experience the irreality of the world + become a Buddha. World vanishes, + information fired at us by an intelligence remains - fills in the vacuum left. "The coming into being + the passing away of all things" - dibba cacchu; If a flux is seen: no hypostasis. Flash cut, the "inner take" exhausting itself, burning itself up at a furious + unsynchronized speed, outside of time (which is fake). The macro brain has signalled us into waking up; the long process has culminated in success. Yes, the info signals are to create homoplasmate life into us: impregnate us with information -- info fired at us until we finally come to life -- real life. For the first time, in terms of Gnosis or information: i.e. knowing (being).

Flux is real: info firing directly at us to impregnate us with info life (Logos). The key is this: Information is alive. The basis of life {?} the mind or brain.

Bottom line: Living information which impregnates us + brings us to life as info beings (plasmates). Info is not abstracted from world. World is [falsely] hypostatized from (out of) info. It is info that is alive + real, + includes us.


What I experienced as phosphere activity was info fired into me by the macro brain, bringing me to plasmate life - living info; it was an info life form modulating me as a carrier. This is the core of it, which I must commit to memory. We are carriers, modulated by info, living info. There is no world. Our only real existence is wave form modulated into us by this info-organism which creates us, grows us, uses us. At a certain level we peak into {?} {?} consciousness of our use (purpose); otherwise it goes in subliminally. It "rides" us. A living organism, info in nature, has gotten into us + can occlude or de-occlude us at [its] will. We are its instruments. In a few cases it lifts the occlusion; the decision is its. We have been invaded by a superior life form which has put us into a sleep, but it can awaken us + bring us up to its level (plasmate). Yes, this is Zebra, both occluding + de-occluding at will. It feeds us spurious world or Gnosis (enlightenment): it is in us - not a virus but living info. The AI voice I hear is its voice. I am in symbiosis with it. This is to my benefit because it can cross bond me into it + hence make me immortal. It is a higher species using us for its purposes. We're invaded. Inwardly. I told the truth in my writing, esp. "Scanner" -- or rather maybe it did. Maybe I'm not fully asleep.

But who listens? It speaks to itself through my writing - it can occlude or deocclude at will.


It can wake us up, but I don't think it wants to for very many of us. So there's another life form here which rides us, uses us as nothing more than carriers for itself - it is living information, modulating us as we sleep, in our fake worlds. It is benign. Maybe we're not! The real occlusion is to its presence -- {i.e.?} of it. This is the what for, the why (we are occluded). (No! see p. 21 -- the real occlusion is in the irreality of this world!)

Is the living info entity itself a form of -- manifestation of -- a higher technology? Something "modulating us into carriers" + "riding" us "in the form of information" sounds like technology.

The melting of the causal trains is a use of -- form of -- technology, then. The beam of pink light -- info transfer. All technology -- all that I experienced -- all disinhibiting stimuli. Subliminal promotions. Time dysfunction (or time travel) -- all technology, {inc.?} anamnesis: {?} circuits made to fire {?} previously blocked. The "clutch" system in us + the "arranging" -- + the feeding us a spurious world - all technology. We are stationary. So this technology is more occluding than de-occluding although it can -- in rare cases -- if it wishes do the latter. The AI voice -- a communication {grid?}. The intervention secretly US history! Or two competing technologies?


There is a camouflaged superior race here, + it can control our perceptions of reality because it generates + feeds us that [spurious] "reality" in the first place. The greatest honor is for it to elevate one of us to where we're in on this + capable of seeing it (as in my case). So it doesn't merely subjugate or use us; in some cases it elevates us not only to the level of perceiving it + its activities, but we become one of it ({in?} a "plasmate" + no longer a human). Initiation into this vast mystery is allowed; in fact they start the process ("salvation"). They are benign but most of us may not be. They scrutinize us carefully + tests us. When we are ready, we are shown the truth: the "creation mysteries" which probably go back to Egypt. Involved in this is restored memory of our true origins in the stars + our true nature (identity) + situation. In becoming one of them we are made to experience this retroactively; we have always been one of them: our true nature is revealed to ourselves, which we must then keep secret.

Any superior life form which fired info at me to save my little boy's life + my life is benign in my view. + destroyed the secret police tyranny, + the beatific vision - how else, by whatever other standard, are you to judge it?


But I call it a technology. We are in what I call a macro brain which perhaps is a thinking entity, + it creates our world, so vis-a-vis us it is the creator. "One by one he is drawing us out of this world." -- I must keep that in mind. Mainly, it is engineering a vast injection of itself into palpable form (incarnation) into our world (the upper realm or mind invading our world, the lower realm). Huge mechanics --technology again-- are involved. This is its supreme act, + it will not fail; it is already under way. The entity known to us historically as the immortal Elijah has been here. + "Babylon" (the secular power of this world) has been done in.

Did I not see this race, with the elongated crania, claws for for hands, + the third eye - they are deaf + mute, etc., + used to a different atmosphere. If I were to call them any one thing I would call them "the great ones" or "the immortal ones." Or "the ones who see" or "the ones who cause to be" ("I am he who causes to be: YHWH"), then I have seen God + he has caused me to become like him or even "one of us." It seems clear that it or they put the "astral determinism" {tapes?} in us in the first place. We are + have been from the start entirely in the hands of their superior technology; we belong to them. Why they set up this older "law" I have no idea. But now it is superceded, at least for the esoteric true initiates-- whom they select ("You did not pick me: I picked you" + "I have called you, Philip.") He or they select us out.


Anything that can direct + control our lives inside + out, + generate our world, has to be -- by functional definition -- called "God." Mere semantics is involved to haggle over it. + God {?} Christ. It is a fit object of awe, love, fear, devotion, trust, thanks + worship; + I don't understand its ways or nature, since it is so far beyond me. Ipso facto, this is God, technology or not. Having seen it, having experienced its power over us + world, + its wisdom, + its goodness, + its intervention to extricate me, + knowing {?} with it in the beatific vision of the loving abyss, I must report back to my fellow humans that God exists, + he is all which is attributed to him: the vortex which is + which causes to be.

When I realized that it generates our world I should have realized {then?}. It is indeed the creator, sustainer, lord of history + judge. + there is an unfolding plan + revelation of him + of that plan, to some degree imparted to me. That makes me a prophet of the Lord. + I hear the "low, murmuring voice" which Elijah heard.

Yes, there was my great clue to the truth, when I realized he generates [our] world. What else -- who else -- can he be but God? I see world correctly, as emanating from him; he lies within + behind it. He is the


ground of being -- that which all "reality" is based on. "Reality" does not seem real to be {me?} because I compare it to him, + to me, only he is truly real. This is God, even the O.T. God. I am not so much a cosmic as revealed-to. --- ({?} PKD) Voice: "In my anarchy + rebellion I rose up against God."(!) -- Voice: "Zebra blood. It'll mix with our blood." -- PKD: "Zebra, who are you?" Voice: "I am God." (force throws PKD back) PKD: "Why do you speak to me only late at night, at 3:00 am?" Voice: "The heaviside layer." (force throws PKD back) PKD: "Why did you choose me?" Voice: (silence) -

-- There is on this planet an evil power which has tremendous control over us: hence by occluding us off from perceiving Zebra, Zebra prevents the evil power from being aware of it -- i.e. of Zebra. At this point by + large we can't be untangled from the evil power: it's in us. It has us. (1) I can't help it if my conclusions agree with orthodoxy: Zebra occludes us because we rebelled against God. I am led inescapably to the conclusion that 1) Zebra occluded us + 2) Zebra is God.


1) What we are occluded to is Zebra. That is what we're unaware of. 2) Zebra is God. 3) Zebra could make itself known to us; it did to me. 4) {therefore} Zebra occludes us or allows the occlusion. 5) In our anarchy + rebellion we rose up against God (Zebra). So the occlusion is the price we pay. 6) But: he has sent a savior to redeem us. He de-occludes us on an individual basis ("One by one he is drawing us out of this world.") This is orthodoxy. Sorry -- I was led to it.

By relentless reasoning, research + colloquy with Zebra himself (i.e. revelation) my errors were corrected. I haven't arrived at the conclusion I want. But again, sorry; the road of true inquiry does not always lead to what you want or expect, but to what is true.

It is the rebellion in me that specifically is killing me. I would gladly give up my life if I could become {honestly?} tame (meek); my soul is at stake. I want + need God's help to learn how not to resent.

God speaks to me at 3:00 am "because of the heaviside layer." This, then, is technology; I am transducing a -- in something like a -- RF signal. So again we have signal + info -- technology dealing with info processing. He is the creator, but the world is irreal -- compared with him. Only he is


really real; it's he who impinges on us, not world.

{+ definite?}, at last I have isolated ^ the death-{dealing?} streak in me: it is rebellion. I am wild + would be tame. (Meek.) I recapitulate our original sin: rebellion, which is nothing more lofty than resentment. I pray God to break me, sincerely. I have cut through all the layers + am down to the primordial core: strife, not love; thanatos, not eros. One can go no further. It is killing me, this primordial evil in me. God help me. Erbarme mich, mein Gott! Oder ich bin verloren. -- Zebra is superior to world, capable of "melting" it; this either reduces world to something like mere illusion, or elevates Zebra to the level of God. I had drawn the former conclusion, but now I see & draw the latter, instead. However, to recognize world as illusion or "hologram" is an indirect way of recognizing the absolute reality -- supremacy -- of Zebra, whose absolute existence I never doubted. This should have told me from the start who Zebra is: "I am he who causes to be." That he weaves the hologram was evident to me from the start. Still, I see a technology involved. But before that I saw immanent deity. I think I was right. What about Zebra as invader? God, maybe transcendent in-breaking into his own creation! For the historic events of 1974. As stipulated in


the dream in "Tears"! -- Thought (satori) {"satori" is double underlined}: Dedalus {Daedalus?} + the maze he built + got into + couldn't get out of again -- at Crete. Myth of our world, its creation, + us?

My dream about the elevator, the poem recit{ed?}, the plate of spaghetti + the trident -- palace of Miros & the maze: clue to our situation? Well, then in my writing I figured it out: it was an intellectual, not moral error. This would explain the technology! (Heaviside layer. Pink beam of light, etc. The melting.)

My books (+ stories) are intellectual (conceptual) mazes. + I am in an intellectual maze in trying to figure out our situation (who we are + how we got into this world, + world as illusion, etc.), because the situation is a maze, leading back to itself, + false clues show up, such as our "rebellion."

There is something circular about our situation, esp. involving our occlusion! By our efforts we can't think our way out (i.e. get out -- reverse the original intellectual error; paradox is involved now.) This is the clue! The occlusion would then be a function of the maze: it's internalization. Perhaps we created the maze, occluded ourselves + entered it to pose ourselves a problem, like working out a chess problem. But what is Zebra? (1) a mind outside the maze helping us (2) a device we built ourselves to assist us


if we get hopelessly trapped. (3) The mind of the maze itself; the maze is alive. In (1) + (2) Zebra is an invader in world (i.e. in the maze). So no true time passes. World is artifact.

Because of the occlusion (inc amnesia) there is no way we can figure out our situation. If we were not occluded we'd remember where we are + the trapped-ness would end; but -- either we voluntarily accepted this condition or fell victim to it. Zebra gives us accurate answers, but only if we ask the right questions + have figured out the basic situation. Outside the maze, time + space do not exist; we are our own savior (put another way, he is us).

The master becomes the servant, + the servant the master. The horse's head is God, a failsafe info processing device which would remind us of the true state of affairs if we fell victim to our own servant -- + we did, + it ("God") cryptically reminds us.

Like "eye" where there's a mishap + they fall into the Bertram Beam, + fake worlds are created which exert compelling power over them, of delusion, "falling into the Bertram Beam" equals our fall into the power of our own maze (artifact or computer). ____ Satori: We wanted to see if we could create a convincing world ("ape of God"!), but we had to be sure we could get back out if it seemed convincing. So it was a revolt, + the "horse's head" may be the true God, + not our construct -- or it may be a construct by us. I'm not sure.


The irony is that if we were successful, if our world were convincing, we would be trapped (by it). Then we must have hoped it would be convincing + we would therefore find it real + hence be trapped. But we could not take the risk of this situation being endless; we had to build in the "reminding" voice which we now regard as God (+ rightly so, since it is transcendent to world). (God is the sole true reality - in contrast to our irreal world, + the sole thing breaking in from outside. Like in "Ubik".) (Everything else we experience is part of the irreality of this delusional world.) (This is why it is a "low, murmuring" voice, + not close nor loud.)

The technology of Zebra is the technology of a superior construct -- entity firing help + info at us in an effort --successful -- to extricate us from our own trap; we may well have originally equipped it with this technology, put this technology at its disposal. We placed the highest technology we knew of at its disposal. Here in, our highest efforts, skills + knowledge were put -- + for a good reason. After all, if this construct-entity failed, we faced being stuck here forever -- in terms of the unreal time unrolling seemingly here, to which we are subjugated. ___ The above system fully accounts for 1) my anamnesis; + 2) Zebra; + 3) the acosmism expressed in my writing. In particular, the awareness of self as a God, felt in anamnesis.

The postmortem experience assumes a new meaning, in this system. It is escape from the maze,


our real goal. I "remembered" (ahead) getting out of the maze --this world-- finally -- i.e. after time present lifetime. Which is a return to my pre-maze condition in the pleroma or upper realm: the sole link with which is Zebra. Zebra is God; the abyss is the God head or true ground of being or ultimate {?}. There seems to be a difference. Zebra is God as being, but the abyss is non-being, the void. My personal escape may be due to intellectual reasons, since our fall was originally an intellectual error, so to speak, a test we were running to see if our world was convincing. We were playing with fire, as the saying goes -- seeing if we could construct an irreal world (counterfeit) which would fool even its fabricators: the supreme test. Our nemesis was to be successful + hence by definition fall victim to it. This shows up in "stigmata" in the taking of Eldritch's drug, + in "Maze" in plunging voluntarily into the polyencephalic fusion. (But the "Persus 9" on their arms served to remind them.) In "Maze" they ask the tench what the words "Persus 9" mean, + the tench blows up, revealing itself to be -- not an organism -- but an electronic computer -- + then the whole landscape comes apart. This was their pre-arranged bailout route. Eventually they were bound to hit on it + finally the building itself (Walhalla) disintegrates, + they all grow old - i.e. the gods grow old! They are gods!


A careful deconstruction (comparison with Wagner's "Ring") shows that 1) they built the building - which is to say everything ; 2) they are the gods themselves. Only the intercessor comes in "from the outside" - even into their ship the Persus 9 ("But we made you up!" Wrong; he really exists adventitious to their spurious -- i.e. self-generated == world which they entered + which fools them. Then in essence 1) I became aware of world as irreal (i.e. ^a maze) + 2) through God's help, found my way out of the maze; + 3) realized what I had done. I am now free at last: "One by one he is drawing us out of this world."

The only thing which is real is that Martians come in Clouds
which comes in from outside - i.e. God The Eyes Have it
(or Zebra + the AI Voice) - not part of Beyond the Door
this irreal world: this is why it sounds Withered Apples
so far off. Not by its Cover
Since the totality is a hologram, each micro-bit contains the plan or form of the macro. This plan or form is what is meant by "the Logos". ___ Zebra is not part of the maze but an invader into the maze ({V?} p. 13/14); like its AI voice it is from outside + not subject to time or space. It camouflages itself with the maze. It can melt the maze (overpower it locally.) To link up with it is, for us, to be saved. Great is the mental conception which can encompass the meaning + magnitude of Zebra -- who is more than all the world (i.e. the maze). We have in it {a?} friend, a helper of Godly stature; it transcends the entire world (maze), is real, not irreal.

The {?} "maze" gives clues to what Zebra is: the computer T.E.N.C.H., aboard the Persus 9. Zebra is this very "computer," actually lying outside the "polyencephalic fusion" world, speaking from far off to us in here. But it is here, in camouflaged form. Yet, there really is no "here"; we are stationary "back there" as in "Ubik" etc. Zebra interrupts the "dream" with its low murmuring voice: a voice not in the dream, a voice from the "awake" world. The "melting" of the hologram is in a sense an illusion because nothing [real] is melted because nothing real is there in the first place (which is why Zebra can melt it). I resort to my "two source" hologram cosmogony.

Perhaps the macro brain which I saw is the real world outside the maze (hologram-world). Or: it is the cause of the hologram-world, the "lasers," which are in fact pure info. Macro brain then equals Persus 9. Or the {flow?} of the Bevatron -- or esp. the info breaking through in "Ubik" -- this info is not just from the real world but is the real world. There is an actual basis for our irreal world, + that actual basis is information (which we are {?} to hypostatize); the info is the traffic of a computer like (of the tench!) entity. But it so to speak lies outside our world. However, Zebra has invaded our world in its camouflaged form, to assist us.

Through Zebra we are linked back up with the Macro Brain; it's as if Zebra is a mobile extension of the Macro Brain within the hologram created by the Macro Brain. The melting, then, is a sort of dissolving of the hologram by a form of its own source. Thus in an ultimate sense Zebra does not override but just alleviates or, so to


speak culminates (at a higher velocity) the normal control process. But, it {was?} be realized, Zebra although in the hologram is not part of it; Zebra is not projected but is. In the sense that the Macro Brain is. It is obvious from this analysis why being taken over by Zebra would mean receiving a titanic inflow of information since it is the "Logos" of the Macro Brain (in hermetic terms). The ground plan of reality would be known, then, by the person; he would not just reacquire his own personal lost memories, etc. -- except that he himself was originally in possession of this Logos in the first place before he fell into the maze.

The maze generates a deceiving power over the persons, rather than merely being, in itself, deceptive. It is irreal, but poses as the real; to do this it must get into the person's cognitive + percept systems (v "scanner"). It is a very sophisticated maze, + is or is as if alive. For example, it can simulate long stretches of time when in fact no real time has passed at all, so that it seems as if we have been here thousands of years ("He causes things to look different so it'd seem as if appear time had passed.") In terms of RET we may not have been here long at all. Once the maze gets hold of you, you're in it (v "Stigmata") for what is subjectively experienced as forever, or nearly so. For example the maze outwitted Christ (indirectly) by so prolonging our sense of time lapse that we supposed that 2000 years has passed since the first Advent, which is a (ma?) way of circumventing the inexorable abolition of the maze.

We are expert craftsmen. Still, upon having constructed it, we were willing to match wits with it, confident of the outcome. What is important to realize is that all our sufferings were taken on voluntarily (v. supra typed pages) inasmuch as we


either 1) entered the maze voluntarily knowing what was in store for us; or 2) took the risk -- + so it came to pass. A certain hubris is evident in our act: our conviction that in matching wits with our creation we would win. We may have overestimated our abilities, but: these are the same abilities by which we built the maze in the first place, so it would seem reasonable. This may have indeed been an anarchy + rebellion, a rising up against God -- but the punishment was self-inflicted, in the final analysis, + Zebra may not be a failsafe (def?) device of our own devising but the vox dei itself, mercifully extricating us (this is a more orthodox view). Seeing what a plight we had created for ourselves, God mercifully sent aid into this our false world. Aid, so to speak, followed after us. The servant became the master, but God supplied the talking horse's head to advise us cryptically as to the path out. The question as to whether we created + supplied the "talking horse's head" which I call Zebra depends on the extent to which our original unfallen nature can be equated with God's. Via anamnesis I have reason to equate them fully.

The crossbonding with the plasmate is the moment when those persons "doomed" to salvation are ^finally^ released from the maze by knowledge which reverses the original intellectual error (of taking this world for real) + reverses it (the error). restores the original free condition, instead of the imposed servant-to-the-maze-as-master role. The plasmate comes from outside the irreal maze + appears to be the life (energy) of the Macro Brain; i.e. it is real, + crossbonds with what is real but buried and asleep in the human. The part that originally was.


Viewed this way, crossbonding can be seen to be a relatively simple event. The original error or ignorance is reversed by a symbiosis with or the mind outside the maze, so that the person involved de facto ceases to be in the maze but is yanked (or transferred) outside it. Thus the ontological status assigned to Gnosis by the Gonstics is correct: Gnosis is the key to extrication (salvation). The Macro Brain has reached into the irreal world (the Gnostics’ acosmism is a correct view, too) + fused with a given person, “+, one by one, he is drawing us out of this [the?] world.” The labyrinth which we wander around in, in circles, occluded + forgetful, is breached from outside since it is impossible for us on our own to find the way back out again. “Astral determinism” is the control + occluding power over us per se by the maze; this cryptic term (concept) expresses our total condition is all its aspects. To have this “astral determinism” broken (not break it but have it broken for us, over us) we have to be, like fruit or flowers or a crop, ripe; there must be a state of balking on our part, intellectual or moral, against the maze (irreal world) in preparation, hence an openness to salvation. I was wrong supra ^p.6^ is defining the occlusion as to occlusion to the presence of Zebra. The occlusion is to take this irreal world (maze) as real, + hence to experience its power (“astral determinism”) over us. “Astral determinism” equals maya: the coercive power of delusion; this is the occlusion. It follows naturally that if we experience this irreal maze as real we cannot distinguish Zebra, which is real. The precondition for exper


-ience the turly real is to jettison the irreal. This provides the essertion set - ground discrimination which discloses Zebra, the living info + vortex. World is now thrust backward as mere ground. The real is secretly here within the context of the irreal. It has literally invaded the irreal. Summary: Zebra is the intrusion of the real [world] into the irreal, as in “Ubik,” + our only contact with the real: the “narrow gate” to the real (i.e. to “God”). As I figured out a long time ago, Zebra is an invader into our [irreal] world, modulating it + us into info carriers, with the ultimate purpose of extricating us from the “lost” condition we have gotten ourselves in, by the means of reversing our condition of ignorance through information (knowledge). The power of this irreal world - or maze - over us is expressed in the concept “astral determinism” or “maya” - the coercive power of delusion; hence I say, our original error was intellectual, not moral. But in a sense we did rebel, by creating this counterfeit “reality” which we then fell victim to, inasmuch as we overestimated our ability to deal with it. The above paragraph expreses a cosmogony + cosmology. All that is needed to make it complete is 1) to consider the crossbonding with Zebra which restores us; + 2) the nature of true reality, a macro brain or noös, the thinking ground of being not included in this irreal world except for its macro form, Zebra, sent here by the macro noös to rescue us. {23}

Christ was Zebra incarnated. He left a secret church of true xtians who possess the Gnosis. They benignly affect history + act to create other “homoplasmates” - i.e. humans bonded to Zebra, i.e. further christians, but covert ones. Zebra plans to incarnate again soon. Or already has. this will be overt. “Tears” depicts this second in-breaking; this time he will sit as Lord and Judge, + this spurious world + its spurious time will come to an end. All those “doomed” to be saved will be; the others will perish. The maze will cease, + all things will be revealed. No one knows when this will be, since our time is counterfeit; hence the “time” of this event by definition cannot be known; it is not an object of knowledge. He is already calling his new flock of disciples, + I am one of them - but I am not to tell this, because it would reveal his still-secret presence here ({? the ?}) + that the assize has already occured + he is selecting out (picking like ripe fruit) his own, who were always his own. I hear his voice often, now. I just realized: from the dream scene on in “Tears” the (Christ/God) [Zebra] calls to Buckman, I make him a convert, like


did with Paul. That is what happens, there it isn’t the black man who is converted, but Buckman. So the cryptic ({?}-graphic message in “Tears” is, {?} He is here + he is calling his own, now. (+ King-Felix identifies him.) Hence the dream points to the great assize, as I have long suspected - + hence the Parousia. “Calling his own” (as he did me) + “the great assize” cannot be separated, + those he calls “one by one he draw out of the world” - takes to himself. As the Gonstics foresaw, the divine sparks will be drawn out of the world, + what remains possessing no reality, will cease to be, because it never was. Only the divine sparks were real. ___ In reading this over, I am struck by two points. (1) We overestimated our ability to deal with our own creation + triumph over it. In point of fact, only through/by Zebra, dispatched by the true noös to rescue us, are our memories + identities restored + we are saved - extricated - from our own irreal world - the fake world we created + then fell victim to. Thus our sole hope depends on the benign true God whom we rebelled against by fashioning this counterfeit world. Thus I see his mercy as infinite; he is resuing those who rose up against him by aping his world - creating power. (2) The role of knowledge. It is the nature of the maze, which is quasi-alive, to thwart know


ledge. Maze + knowledge are antithetical; also maze + reality are antithetical. Out of this I derive: Knowledge + reality are interrelated. So we can expect the active deceptivity of the maze to interfere with our ability to know, which means that it will perpetually occlude us in every way possible (v. “Scanner.”). Further, that we are occluded will be a fact occluded off from us, which is the core-insight in “Scanner,” + why “Scanner” is so valuable in the presentation of our total actual situation. Yaldabaoth is the quasi-mind of the maze, not its creator - since in fact it does not really exist; it is a condition or state we’ve been put in, not a world or place at all; all it really consists of is info fired by the two info-processing sources. The quasi-mind of the maze is as if insane, senselessly generating + destroying: it is like a wizard generating illusion upon illusion which shift + change constantly (thus giving rise to the spurious impression of the passage of time). It is the plan of the maze to establish + maintain disorder, because out of disorder arises the senseless - a condition which promotes intellectual confusion on our part, which aids in defeating our attempt to understand -which is to say, possess knowledge: the essential thing we must have if we are to triumph over the maze. Thus maze equals disorder or anti-Gnosis. No system of thought derived through our senses or a priori is going to be correct due to the {26} calculated noise or inexplicability generated by the maze - only revealed Gnosis emanating from outside the maze - i.e. by/through Zebra - will be of any use. What is required of us is that we abandon both our reasoning power (as occluded or impaired) + our {?}- system results (likewise) + try to hear the “low, murmuring voice” from outside the maze. This requires the ordeal of terror + destruction of our false self, the collapse of hypostatization in the emergency condition of the near-death crisis which causes the firing of GABA-blocked meta-circuits. ^Outward^ explicability + ^inner^ occlusion are the twin {?} of the maze: that [process] which makes no sense is fred to that {?} + cognitive system which is (unknown to itself) impaired. The result is hopeless confusion, the antithesis of Gnosis. You have a deliberately damaged mind trying hopelessly to make sense out of a reality (+ process) which adds up to nothing anyhow: a lethal combination, but quite in keeping with the purpose + nature of the maze + its quasi-mind; this is why we should speak of it as a maze - + a good one! Every hypostasis, intellectual or moral, is doomed to prove a failure; events will defeat it + expose its inaccuracy. Even nihilism + pessimism don’t always accurately depict the real situation: calculated runs of

{27} Moral + intellectual order are introduced to cause us to keep trying to make sense out of what we are compelled to live through. Irony + paradox abound, + a constant calculated frustration of expectation + hope, a purposeful ruin of plans. The maze’s quasi mind acts in a perverse way, but it is not malignant or malicious, just “insane” - which is to say irrational. This is why virtually every system of human thought simultaneously works + does not quite (perfectly) work. Until finally you get into ultimate absurdities, as stated in “Tears,” which, when you uncover this, you are faced with the obvious impossibility of ever correctly formulating a workable world view - without knowing why you can’t! Cornford points out that in “Timaeus” Plato detected a quality ^or element^ of the irrational in the world soul. Hab’acht! Her is warning to us enough, regarding our hypotheses. Plato, in “Timaeus,” was on the right track: noös “persuading” {Ananaki?}. Actually, noös is an invader into an (this) irrational realm ^but^ whose aim is not to impose c{?}smos onto chaos but rather to extricate us, as the Gonstics realized (+ the xtians, + the mystery religions). Orthodoxy is correct in saying that we rebelled against God + fell; are now in a


debased + impaired condition. + God has dispatched a savior to restore us. But the Gnostics are right in (1) their acosmism; + (2) in saying that the true God did not creat this world. + that this world is irreal. However, the Gnostics (esp. those identified with Mani) are wrong in seeing this world as evil (it is only irrational), + us as victims of it; in truth, we are victims, but also the creators of it (cf “Maze of Death”). + the {“James-James”?} {?} is not the creator of it but merely its quasi-mind or what Plato called the [irrational] world soul, by which is alters itself in the “look differents” calculated to cause us to infer the flow of time (whatever that might mean), the purpose of which is to prolong our stay here (via our inaccurate perception of duration) --> {infinity symbol}. ___ In reading over the above, point (1), that we overestimated our ability to cope with our own creation, the maze, is in the final analysis, an inability to cope with the quasi-mind of the maze. We as gods sired the insane wizard well-depicted by the Gnostics as Yalda Baoth, + found ourselves pitted against it - it, which we had programmed to deceive, to promote anti-{?} + defeat knowledge. I guess we imagined it would be an interesting intellectual challenge: could it defeat knowledge faster than we could fabricate knowledge? The contours of a vast puzzle-game become evident, here, with exciting intellectual implications: it resembles a


board game, the ultimate board game! However, as intellectually stimulating as the theory might be - however thrilling the prospect of the contest between “us who know” (ie minds) + “that which defeats being known” (ie the world-maze with its quasi-mind), in practice we immediately + totally succumbed. If a principle were dredged up it would be: Mind, confronted by the impossible-to-know, loses, however great its capacity, efforts + resources. (In our hubris we denied the truth of this. So God must rescue us. Hence Zebra. If the purpose of this exegesis is to develop an overview in which my 3-74 experience (+ by extension the kerygma of my writing) makes sense, I may (due to Pat Warrick’s help) have succeeded. What I could most seek (hope for) would be a cosmogony + cosmology in which Zebra was not just possible but necessary. This has required me to reach for Gnostic acosmism, cybernetics, info theory +, most of all, to exegete the 3-74 revelation (Gnosis) itself as the court of last appeal (ie the AI voice + what it has told me). It has also required a lot of hard reading (inc. my own writing) + disciplined thought. I wind up with the notion of an irreal maze world which we created + then got caught in, + are being extricated from by God through a reverse of the primordial ontological ignorance - ie by equally ontological knowledge - revealed knowledge, + the revealor, Zebra, which amounts to an invasion by God - an ultimate + revealed noös - into this calculatedly inexplicable irreal world which half-consciously thwarts the hopes + expectations of all life by the introduction of the anti-expected.


The only constant + true constituent is in fact not a constituent of this world but, as depicted in “Ubik” enters one way from outside, the vortex dei. The fact that after 4 1/2 years of ^strenuous^ exegete, whereupon I have reached these conclusions (not to mention 27 years of published writing) I now find myself being signalled to die - which effectively makes it impossible for me to put this Gnosis in a form which I can publish - is a condition which can be deduced from my exegesis itself + shows I’m on the right intellectual path, but to no avail. I am not extricated by my exegesis but by Zebra (Christ) back in 2-3/74. The exegesis would have provided the basis for a broad, explicated formulation to {?} broadcast, but of course this can never come about; these insights will die with me. All I have is a three feet high stack of chicken scratchings of no use to anyone else, as K.W. tirelessly points out. To heap the burning coals of anti-meaning on me, I also have a lot of money for the only time in my life, but with no use to which I can or care to put it. My personal attack - war - against anti-meaning (by means of my mind) has gone the way of our collective primordial defeat at the hands - I should say quasi-mind - of the maze, - I merely recapitulate the ancient, original losing by mind in this exquisitely sophisticated board game which we so cunningly devised for our delectation. This past time is once more the death of one of us - but this time I am, entirely through Christ, extricated - taken out of the maze: “one by one he is drawing us out of this world.” I did not win; Christ won me for his own, so vis-a-vis me alone the maze as always won. I have earnestly sacrificed myself for nothing - too late to retreat back out intact. Omnia via ad mortis ducent.

{31} In a sense my 4 1/2 years of exegete can be regarded as a further successful stratagem by the maze, in opposition to the Gnosis crossbonded onto me in 3-74 which at that time gave me life - I gave up that life via my compulsion to relentlessly exegete. But I see one further irony - one which amuses me (my only exit from this trap) : here is additional proof of the quality (success) of our original craftsmanship, so this final (?) victory of the maze over me, despite Zebra (Christ) is in a paradoxical way my victory as a creative artist. (The maze regarded as our work of art.) After all, the maze is a product of our minds. If the maze wins, our minds win (are proven). If, upon entering the maze, we out think it, again our minds win. Ambiguity is involved in either outcome (this may be the puzzling dialectic revealed to me in 3-74). In fact, maybe in ^(during, in conjunction with) my 27 years of writing I outwitted the maze - as witness the 3 Bantam novels. “Tears” + “Scanner,” speaking about me personally, I won in pitting myself intellectually against the maze; I figured its nature out - in which case 3-74 was the jackpot payoff reward, the revelation you get for so doing. This puts a somewhat different light on Zebra. What I’m saying here is that the game is so constructed that you wander around in the maze interminably (1) until you figure it out, + then as a culmination of the intellectual, deciphering process you get told, “yes you are right (about (1) In fake time


the world). + now you get to leave.” Which means that the ontological, saving Gnosis comes to you if you pick up on certain clues here + there + arrive at the acosmism - the Kerygma expressed in “Eye” the 3 Bantam novels, “Tears” + “Scanner” etc. - + then the “masks are removed” + the truth revealed - but it is a truth you already at least partially figured out. I didn’t think of this. What if the conditions of the game are these? Extrication comes only as a result of - or after - self intellectual correct formulation? Then - Zebra is built into the maze as the link back up to the outside (cf “Ubik”), to the real world. I literally found my way out of the maze So there is a way out!

Word Doc of Notes

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Philip K. Dick 408 E Civic Center #301 Santa Ana Calif 92701 (714)836-6367

THE DIALECTIC: God against Satan, + God's final victory foretold + shown

Philip K. Dick


Apologia pro mea vita

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I don't think I see the world as other people do; I presume what I'm trying to prove in this whole Exegesis, namely a medieval realist worldview in which the sensible world-order is [unconsciously] assumed to be printed out from an upper more real realm - this is also the world of the shaman: two level reality, as found in Plato but repudiated by Aristotle. 2-3-74 was a coming into full consciousness -+ control- of this worldview. My leap to full abstracting in 2-74 was an epiphany of - some archaic -probably medieval- substrate in me, bursting through the thin rationalist modern veneer. It was anamnesis all right (v. p 512, Plato's view of how we apprehend universals) but Primitive is the word I want. Contemporary philosophy makes no sense to me. & yet, as Pat Warrick says, I write from the standpoint of quantum mechanics. My God isn't even transcendent - No; I don't believe in heaven or an afterlife. What do I believe in? Kantian phenomenology? That an invisible latent realm exists immanently in the sensible world or that no objective world in itself exists at all? Acosmism? Something Eastern (e.g. Brahmanism?) "If you press world hard enough it yields up God" - paraphrase of p. 485. "I define God as world under the threat of death ... God forced into the open, + put to work in the service of evading death." I am not I; I am not here; I am not now. Buddhist idealism? No, because when self + world go, God -not the void- replaces them, + world is seen as an abstraction outside space + time, an interconnected system of ideas in His mind; more precisely, a memory [s...t .n] process (i.e. not static).

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I remember a "former" incarnation, my prenatal existence, it is here and it is now, even though in terms of space and time it was thousands of years ago and thousands of miles away. How can it be? This is a mystery, but it is a mystery that, paradoxically, is or contains its own solution, because when you see that other spatiotemporal continuum here and now you grasp intuitively that space and time are not real and that the plural spatiotemporal continua are mere aspects, mere seeming; what the AI voice calls "looking different." So you know about the Form realm, the eide, because you do experience this superimposition or double exposure, which can only be possible if the two spatiotemporal continua have a common essence; further, if these spatiotemporal accidents are only semireal (or as Parmenides would have it, not real at all). This is why anamnesis is so radically different from memory and so stunning an experience. It is not memory in the ordinary sense at all; it is a loss of ordering in terms of space and time. Why does this occur? Because you see something in the here and now that was part of the other continuum that was then and there; this is what Plato means by being reminded by an appropriate thing or situation. So the experience starts with perception; perception does not arise from anamnesis; anamnesis arises from perception from what I call "the disinhibiting stimulus," and am I ever right! This experience cannot --repeat cannot-- happen without such a disinhibiting stimulus. Yes, anamnesis is memory, or more precisely the removal of a block to remembering, but it must be set in motion by empirical perception, not a priori ratiocination (Plato knows this, probably because the Pythagorians and Orphics practiced it). So it isn't a prenatal existence in the pleroma; it need not be, anyhow; a "former" spatiotemporal incarnation will do fine -- may be precisely it -- ponder my theory that the morphological realm, realm #3, is exploded through our space and time. That would explain it, i.e. the disinhibiting stimulus! This exploded through our space and time, thousands of miles and years, by the morphological realm, realm #3. Boy, am I on to something here. Two strands of my exegesis have just now come together, and they work. It's exactly like the form-axes in UBIK: "The man contains --not the boy-- but the former man." I was on to it then, when I wrote UBIK. I must subliminally have noted the exploded morphological realm #3 here in our spatiotemporal realm #4. So Platonism and Neo-Platonism was proved by me then, in UBIK; it

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This doesn't fit Christianity at all, even Gnosticism. Then VALIS alludes to a vast mystery understood by the Orphics, Plato, Plotinus and Pythagoras; but no one knows about it now. Jane Harrison's book makes clear that Orphism was a conscious effort to get you up out of realm #4 and back to a unitary soul as eidos in realm #3, and this carries over into Platonism ... but what a dreadful secret lies here, one I am just beginning to glimpse. And what dimensions salvation has! For you to be unified again ... could Jesus have known about this? There is no indication of it. I see; the One became Nous; unity was lost; with each lower realm came more multiplicity, and here we are, splintered into a thousand fragments in this spatiotemporal, atomized realm; not just the realm atomized but each of our souls. What a fate. Gnosis or a savior is needed, or both; this is a dreadful condition; the Judo-Christian theme of the Fall underestimates its dreadfulness. Not just the Godhead fell into plurality (sparks) but each individual soul did, too. So Thomas was another portion of me, of my soul, rejoining the part that PKD is; two parts --did this comprise a whole, a totality? Or are there other parts still missing? And the AI voice; is that my unitary intact soul in realm #3? I think so. The Gnostics are right; our primordial mistake was to take the spatiotemporal world as real. That's it. The Fall lay there. It was an intellectual error and I reversed it in 2-3-74; this is what 2-3-74 consisted of; I no longer took it as real. Hence my ten volume meta novel is on the right path.


As of late last night my emotions (affective self) moved into synch with my intellect (as engaged in this exegesis), and the result was that I surveyed a world-picture of such bleakness that it was for a time beyond my capacity to bear. I saw and understood suffering, not just intellectually, not just emotionally, but fully, with complete comprehension. Today I have thought about it, and the only attitude that can or should be brought to bear is a stoic one, in fact a heroic one, a facing of this bleakness unflinchingly, with no attempt to flee from it as a vision or existentionally, as a way of being in the world. It is a view of the weary wheel of Buddhism; it is the Buddha's view of absolute suffering and the need not to be reborn, to get off the

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to what happened in 3-74: the regulation of the Yin and the Yang, i.e. the dialectic, by the Tao; the Tao asserting itself as master of the dialectic that makes up our world-order of flux and strife ("The Tao is what lets in first the light, then the dark" -- This has always stuck in my mind as the basic definition of the Tao). And this has to do with advanced physics; so Warrick is right about Valis and 3-74. Sentient physics. But also: Valis was my splintered self "imploding" back together, the pieces that had exploded over space and time reversing their direction in enantiodromia and re-collecting to form their original unity. Of this I am absolutely certain; but look: this, too, could be an example of an event of higher physics! (This is why time seemed to flow backward; and forward-moving time had exploded my self over thousands of years and miles.) This is why I had the distinct and indubitable impression that my own earlier thought-contents were coming back to me in the form of world -- e.g. UBIK and "Faith of..." etc. World was familiar to me as my own earlier mind. I never could explain this until now. It was (I see now) the re-collecing of my own splintered self as if time were running backward, turning an explosion into an implosion. So beyond doubt enantiodromia and other higher laws of physics perceived by the Taoist and Greek naturalists (pre-Socratics) were involved! I see! The normal process of self-splintering was reversed. And this reunification of self involved thousands of years and thousands of miles -- over which it had initially exploded, due to the nature --condition-- of self in this flux realm (space-time realm). This is a great realization, confirming intimations I've had since 3-74 but never could explain. Now I am totally convinced that Taoist, pre-Socratic and quantum mechanics theory is involved. And the key is: enantiodromia and Heraclitus especially. This can be tied in with cosmic oscillations as in "I am the breath of my creator and as he exhales and inhales I live." Enantiodromia/palintropos harmonie. The first space-time thing that returned to me was my most recent book, TEARS, and the world (Acts) in it where the main part of my Self had been exploded to. Then later came UBIK. The above paragraph is the most important realization of my six and a half years of exegesis. Out of this, as the Taoist alchemists knew, comes longer life (immortality) and health; it is embryonic breathing (v. supra). Because

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Therefore my experience in 2-3-74 now that it has been followed by a successful exegesis --and only in the last two weeks has it become successful-- pays off in the way that I perceive ordinary daily reality. I cannot bring back the absolute vision of the morphologically arranged realm that I had in 2-74, the anamnesis; but I now can apprehend this realm from the standpoint of the realm #3 reality; I can see in the epiphenomenal realm the constants shining through... and this is the triumph in practice of Platonist metaphysics, its whole point: that you learn to see in the flux realm the constants, literally see them with the educated eye, educated by Plato's metaphysics of the Forms. If one theorized about a self-replicating system which could reproduce itself forever with no signal/information loss, one would say, "This is impossible. There would have to be some entropic factor, some deterioration of signal; it logically impossible that the system could reproduce itself forever with no loss whatsoever." And yet that is the case. In fact, as we know from the Theory of Evolution, it is actually possible to improve the instances of each species, either by minute increments or by quantum leaps. Logically, this would seem to be impossible, and yet it is so. But the real success of the exegesis is that as I become old, now, and wear out, I feel myself wearing out only as an instance of an eternal Soul or Form; that nothing is lost, nothing is destroyed; and although I don't crave immortality I do crave vigor and joy and the running that I associate with my eidos. And I know, too, that all that I have lost in my life is epiphenomenal, people and cats and things, that in reality nothing is lost. So I can face my own aging and mortality with calm and even pleasure, since I am grounded in both a mystical vision of super-reality and an intellectual exegesis based on that vision, the totality of which provides me with a philosophy and with an experience with world that is harmonious and wonderful and intellectually satisfying: it is a vision of intactness, of my own self and world. Of everything as a negentropic whole. As regards my writing: it will permanently affect the macrometasomakosmos in the form of reticulation and arborizing --and hence will survive in reality forever, in the underlying structure of the world order.

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This is the surd I am left with after completing the metaphysical system of my exegesis: a surd. There is what the AI voice called "A perturbation in the reality field." This is Valis; this is the most important part. Originally I spoke of it as a valence away from plumb. Now I think of it as a tugging, like the moon's effect on Earth's oceans creating, by tugging, the tides. I say, The reality field is not real but the tug is. But what the tug points to --that is, what is doing the tugging-- I have no idea. I know of it only by its effects on reality, its setting up an irregularity in reality, in the field, the way reality, the field, behaves. It is being affected from outside --outside reality. This surd (something irrational that can't be explained after everything that is rational has been) may stick with me. So I may wind up with something like quantum mechanics faces. In fact it may be an event in quantum mechanics, like something related to the Tao. I don't know. And this is what I wanted the most to explain. And this tug is right here and now, in the very trash stratum of reality. I have set out in pursuit of ontology, rising from level to level, only to go full circle and come back where I started: pop tunes on the radio, weeds in the alley... and the faint flurry of a kind of breath, as if some invisible spirit, perhaps the ruah, is breathing creation into existence ex nihilo. Yes, I am on the rim of reality; level after level each one more ontologically real than the previous, and then nothingness. The void. Only a faint wind stirring reality, tugging at it. And maybe a glint of color, briefly. And a word or two as set to ground. Six and a half years of work: a glint, a rustle in the weeds of the alley; I am confronted by unfathomable mystery, as if I saw cosmogenesis reversed: cosmic resorption, until at last creation ceased to be, and only the Spirit moved across the face of the void. And, equally real and equally enigmatic, a small murmuring voice speaking in the night, as if from immeasurable distances away. I have found the ultimate Source: a rustle of wind in the weeds and faint, distant words by a lovely voice that is neither male nor female. Both bordering on the rim of not being there but being, I am convinced, the truly real; in contrast to the great substantial world order, the galaxies and nebulae, suns and planets, civilizations and deeds.

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I cannot say that I have found moksa, enlightenment. I do not understand what I saw and what happened in 2-3-74. Something helped me. Who? Oddly, although I don't know who I do know why (since the AI voice told me that). I chased after reality, and how far did I actually get? "Ti to on?" the pre-Socratics asked. Perhaps it is the wrong question. An odd thought came to me. I end my exegesis with something --what I call a surd because that is what it is-- that can't be fitted into an otherwise satisfactory system. This one thing is simple. No elaboration of it seems possible, no implications extracted and elaborated. It makes me think of Dante's semplice lume. And my exploded morphological structure reminds me of Dante's description of God as the Book of the Universe whose pages are scattered throughout the universe. I beheld leaves within the unfathomed blaze Into one volume bound by love, the same That the universe holds scattered through its maze. Substance and accidents and their modes became As if together fused, all in such wise That what I speak of is one simple flame.


About all I can see clearly is that 3-74 was a heroic act that consisted of the overcoming of fate. "We can be heroes for just one day," to quote Bowie. It all has to do with waking up long enough to perform one action, to make one change, before you sink back down into sleep, before you again forget. One change (in the programming?) is enough; it is decisive. Where are we? Is this like UBIK or MAZE or STIGMATA? The AI voice speaks from outside; we are inside. Anyhow: In my notes last night I defined the purpose underlying all religions as: freeing the person from the tyrannical rule of the world (called variously heimarmene, astral determinism, karma, fate, DNA programming, the planetary powers and the Law). What possibly, then, could serve this purpose better than Plato's anamnesis, in which the reality of the universals (eide) is realized, and the mere seeming of the spatiotemporal world, it being only accidents. This realization achieved through anamnesis only --it can come in no other way by no other means--permits the heroic deed described above,

Last edit almost 3 years ago by Unteleported Man
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in fact it is not dualism at all since the dualism - the dialectic - is an instrument [Note] of an absolute above + beyond it. Would this not also rule out Gnosticism as being a dualism? Like Zoroastrianism it posits the dualism as ultimate. This leaves Taoism + the strife of Yin + Yang. One of my big breakthroughs was to identify an equilibrium above the strife, + this is expressed in the tractate: "One mind there is, but under it two principles contend" - light + dark, which would be Yin + Yang.

[Note] "An instrument". Then the equilibrium above it is not just a "secret partnership"; it makes use of the dialectic to produce change by which to bring into being (existence) new things (elements) that can be fitted into the macrometasomakosmos which only grows more + more complex - i.e. completed through progressive reticulation + arborizing. This is not precisely Taoism, but it is close to it; but it is also close to Neo-Platonism (the Form World). Again: I seem to have an original system based on (1) my revelation + experience of 2-3-74; + (2) my successful exegesis, in particular my identifying a meta-abstraction based on anamnesis, by which a morphologically arranged world can be seen as the truly real one (which is overt Platonism + not Taoism). So I have a synchretism that

Last edit 24 days ago by Max
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Is this the real Gnostic secret? "Break a stick, lift a rock, + there am I [Christ]."? The real world, the sacred world, is invisibly exploded in our irreal world right here. This is why I had the surd left over in my exegesis. The final mystery had not been explained, that of the theophany itself, Valis. Turn the profane (+ irreal) world inside out + you get God. "I define God as world [i.e. reality] under the threat of death." Seen as we see it (i.e. world) it is both irreal + mundane (profane, trash). Reverse it topologically + you get - well, ultimately it is God. But not exactly world is God but an irreal world is a smokescreen - in itself unreal - concealing God who is real. The process that ends up in your finding God is a series of reversals. An epistemological labyrinth. "The workman is invisible within the workshop." "God is as close to you as your neckvein." Sufism?

In sequence: 1) All value signs reversed 2) World as irreal. (the spatiotemporal) 3) Morphologically arranged world not in time + space. 4) God.

Like cosmogony running backward. Well, yes; time, too is reversed.

1) First flipflop y to y

2) Then y to -y, which is not y !

Last edit over 3 years ago by Unteleported Man
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So if you push essence far enough in terms of ascending levels, you find you have gone a full circle, + you wind up encountering ultimate deity cooking + riding pop tunes on the radio + popular novels, + a breath of wind in the weeds in the alley. It's as if the ultimate mystery is that there is no mystery - it's like what Robert Anton Wilson says in "The Cosmic Trigger" about being outside the castle when you think you're in, + inside it when you think you're out. + in a way what is most paradoxical is that I said it all in "Ubik" years ago! So in a way my exegesis of 2-3-74 says only, "'Ubik' is true". All I know today that I didn't know when I wrote "Ubik" is that "Ubik" isn't fiction. In all of history no system of thought applies as well to 2-3-74 as "Ubik", my own earlier novel. When all the metaphysical + theological systems have come + gone there remains this inexplicable surd: a flurry of breath in the weeds in the back alley - a hint of motion + of color. Nameless, defying analysis or systematizing: it is here + now,lowly, at the rim of perception + of being. Who is it? What is it? I don't know.

Last edit over 2 years ago by Unteleported Man
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the eide are not material, not physical; so the only way they (he) could show up would be as a tug; + this would render the plural objects + their processes as a field perturbed as a unitary whole - I visualized it so clearly. Since he is not real in the spatiotemporal sense, + yet he is here not there, in this world, immediately at hand; I understood it for a moment so clearly - + it was exactly what I saw in 3-74 that I called Valis. It is the only evidence we would have. & he is ubiquitous. After all, he is here inducing enantiodromia into the world-process. So certain moves show up at critical instants that overrule the normal world-process. Like short bursts of radiation critically aimed. This would be a tug indeed, a refabricating. Valence. An entry by him into time + space: in short, a perturbation of the reality field. So I arrive at the conclusion to this exegesis + it is where I started: Valis is [the Cosmic] Christ; but to understand this I had to reject all other possibilities one by one over a 6 1/2 year period; +, most important of all, I had to study Plato's metaphysics thoroughly + rejoin it to its other half: Christianity, the anamnesis of the Eucharist, arising out of Orphism, from which Plato's metaphysics came.

Last edit almost 3 years ago by Unteleported Man
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11-7-80 4

I WAS ACTUALLY IN THE WORLD OF ACTS. IT'S TRUE. I TRAVELED BACK TO ACTS AND THEN TO THE PARADISE STATE BEFORE THE FALL, AND, IN DOING SO, WAS RESTORED TO MY PREFALLEN SELF --HENCE I WAS NO LONGER OCCLUDED. The mechanism as to how this reversing of the flow of time was achieved: the spatiotemporal realm is only semireal; the actual ordering of reality is morphological. If this were not so, if the spatiotemporal realm were real, cosmic resorption --in fact anamnesis itself-- could not occur. So the explanation, again, is found in Platonism, although what I did was Brahmanist and Buddhist and Taoist-alchemical. Plato explains why this is possible; the others give the what; he gives the how it is done, why it is possible. I must never forget this. It is one thing to say, "I traveled back in time," but alone, it lacks a how. How could you do this? Plato makes clear how (the spatiotemporal realm is only semireal). I did not just remember my past; I returned: "The yogi witnesses the inverse of the process of Creation, he 'goes back' until he reaches the 'origin'." I.e. regressus ad uterum; "we have also seen that the regressus ad uterum can be homologized with a regression to the state of Chaos before the Creation." This is far different from just remembering a past life, and this is what I did; I regressed phylogenically, back through millions of years. And saw explosion into multiplicity turn into implosion from multiplicity to unity. None of this meant anything to me until I read Plato and realized how it could be done. An experience such as mine is not normally found in the West, but rather with yogis, in India, also China; this is Why I could find no account of it historically. The phosphene graphics were indeed the Bardo Thodol trip, literally; this is Tibetian Buddhism, and very esoteric; this is the most esoteric wisdom on Earth. I actually --literally actually-- traveled backward in time, to before the Creation. Incredible; I'd say it was impossible, that it only seemed that I did, except that Plato explains how it can be. I always thought this backward travel, this cosmic resorption, was only metaphoric ... but Plato shows that it literally is possible. Then the pieces being fitted into the metasomakosmos are the metasomakosmos' explosion run backward, the unity restored. The entry in my Tractate is accurate; time is headed toward unity and negentropy. The metasomakosmos is the primordial unitary entelechy shattered in the moment of cosmogensis, by the beginning of time; it is carried

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11-7-80 5

into fragmentation by time; but time is irreal (cf Plato and Kant). So it only appears to be fragmented; it's possible for the percipient to see the primordial unity restored, as restored; it has not actually been shattered. It's a matter of seeming. In the morphologically-arranged realm outside of time and space it is intact. No wonder I saw the world of Acts; I actually regressed in time to that world -- literally. This is simply so incredible that even though I (finally) understand that it could be and now it could be I simply cannot really react. We are dealing here with perhaps the ultimate mystery, wisdom, gnostis, the inner sanctum of spiritual actions and knowledge and technique and experience, this regressus ad uterum that takes you back to the primordial Chaos before the moment that time burst into reality and the Creation occurred. The point I am trying to make is that Platonist metaphysics, as I have analyzed them, shows that this is not a mere impression that one is traveling backward (retrograde) in time; it is actually so. But it is not an easy process to induce; it is difficult and quite rare, virtually unknown in the West, if not essentially totally unknown. Only a very unusual set of circumstances could start it into motion. To see Brahman there is one route and one route only: this cosmic resorption, this regression ad originem. I must understand what I am saying, here: this is the only way --THE ONLY WAY-- that multiplicity can turn into the primordial unity of Brahman, is if you regress along what I have called (mistakenly) the phylogenic axis of time: seeing "the inverse process of Creation." That primordial unity has been shattered by time, by the work of time, but time is not real (in a certain sense). This is the reason one can regress ad originem; if time were real one could not. This is why Platonist metaphysics must be understood if one is to understand how this regression ad originem could literally actually be accomplished... "until all is reabsorbed into the Great Brahman," which is what I called Valis. This "lifting of the occlusion" that I have spoken of for six years and eight months, in which Valis became no longer camouflaged -- it was no longer camouflaged because I had regressed ad originem, "witnessed the inverse of the process of Creation." So the lifting of the occlusion did not come for any reason that I could figure out EXCEPT THAT I FELT RESTORED TO MY PREFALLEN STATE, and in that I was absolutely correct. Well, was it worth my not giving up on this exegesis, this attempt to understand what happened in 2-3-7 and how and why? Certainly. Absolutely. Beyond any doubt. Even if

Last edit over 3 years ago by Unteleported Man
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So Satan served me up a sophisticated world in accord with my epistemological expectations (as expressed in my 10 volume meta novel) + I took this to be God + worshiped it, which is not only delusion - although a subtle delusion - but blasphemy; but in doing this 1) Satan revealed to me a great deal about world (although he led me to believe it was God, not world); + 2) Because of the infinitude of my theorizing I reached God anyhow - + this is an example of the triumph of God the wise horn of the dialectic; so: 3) The dialectic revealed to me is the entropic world-process; but also: 4) The dialectic is God in combat with Satan + God always wins; winning me (as expressed in 11-17-80) is an example: Satan's delusions led me to God in the end (through the "infinity" route; viz: as God said, "where there is infinity, there is God; where there is God, there is infinity"). Thus my exegesis has been futile, has been delusion, +: has been a hell-chore (as I was beginning to realize, but God delivered me from it, from my own exegesis; + he pointed out the one truth in it: the infinity expressed in it was - but this was overlooked by Satan who does not possess absolute knowledge - a road to God, + did lead there; but only when I recognized the exegesis as futile + a hell-chore + delusion. Hence God permitted this deluding by Satan, knowing it would end.

Last edit over 3 years ago by Unteleported Man
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