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So if you push essence far enough in terms of ascending levels, you find you have gone a full circle, + you wind up encountering ultimate deity cooking + riding pop tunes on the radio + popular novels, + a breath of wind in the weeds in the alley. It's as if the ultimate mystery is that there is no mystery - it's like what Robert Anton Wilson says in "The Cosmic Trigger" about being outside the castle when you think you're in, + inside it when you think you're out. + in a way what is most paradoxical is that I said it all in "Ubik" years ago! So in a way my exegesis of 2-3-74 says only, "'Ubik' is true". All I know today that I didn't know when I wrote "Ubik" is that "Ubik" isn't fiction. In all of history no system of thought applies as well to 2-3-74 as "Ubik", my own earlier novel. When all the metaphysical + theological systems have come + gone there remains this inexplicable surd: a flurry of breath in the weeds in the back alley - a hint of motion + of color. Nameless, defying analysis or systematizing: it is here + now,lowly, at the rim of perception + of being. Who is it? What is it? I don't know.


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the eide are not material, not physical; so the only way they (he) could show up would be as a tug; + this would render the plural objects + their processes as a field perturbed as a unitary whole - I visualized it so clearly. Since he is not real in the spatiotemporal sense, + yet he is here not there, in this world, immediately at hand; I understood it for a moment so clearly - + it was exactly what I saw in 3-74 that I called Valis. It is the only evidence we would have. & he is ubiquitous. After all, he is here inducing enantiodromia into the world-process. So certain moves show up at critical instants that overrule the normal world-process. Like short bursts of radiation critically aimed. This would be a tug indeed, a refabricating. Valence. An entry by him into time + space: in short, a perturbation of the reality field. So I arrive at the conclusion to this exegesis + it is where I started: Valis is [the Cosmic] Christ; but to understand this I had to reject all other possibilities one by one over a 6 1/2 year period; +, most important of all, I had to study Plato's metaphysics thoroughly + rejoin it to its other half: Christianity, the anamnesis of the Eucharist, arising out of Orphism, from which Plato's metaphysics came.


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11-7-80 4

I WAS ACTUALLY IN THE WORLD OF ACTS. IT'S TRUE. I TRAVELED BACK TO ACTS AND THEN TO THE PARADISE STATE BEFORE THE FALL, AND, IN DOING SO, WAS RESTORED TO MY PREFALLEN SELF --HENCE I WAS NO LONGER OCCLUDED. The mechanism as to how this reversing of the flow of time was achieved: the spatiotemporal realm is only semireal; the actual ordering of reality is morphological. If this were not so, if the spatiotemporal realm were real, cosmic resorption --in fact anamnesis itself-- could not occur. So the explanation, again, is found in Platonism, although what I did was Brahmanist and Buddhist and Taoist-alchemical. Plato explains why this is possible; the others give the what; he gives the how it is done, why it is possible. I must never forget this. It is one thing to say, "I traveled back in time," but alone, it lacks a how. How could you do this? Plato makes clear how (the spatiotemporal realm is only semireal). I did not just remember my past; I returned: "The yogi witnesses the inverse of the process of Creation, he 'goes back' until he reaches the 'origin'." I.e. regressus ad uterum; "we have also seen that the regressus ad uterum can be homologized with a regression to the state of Chaos before the Creation." This is far different from just remembering a past life, and this is what I did; I regressed phylogenically, back through millions of years. And saw explosion into multiplicity turn into implosion from multiplicity to unity. None of this meant anything to me until I read Plato and realized how it could be done. An experience such as mine is not normally found in the West, but rather with yogis, in India, also China; this is Why I could find no account of it historically. The phosphene graphics were indeed the Bardo Thodol trip, literally; this is Tibetian Buddhism, and very esoteric; this is the most esoteric wisdom on Earth. I actually --literally actually-- traveled backward in time, to before the Creation. Incredible; I'd say it was impossible, that it only seemed that I did, except that Plato explains how it can be. I always thought this backward travel, this cosmic resorption, was only metaphoric ... but Plato shows that it literally is possible. Then the pieces being fitted into the metasomakosmos are the metasomakosmos' explosion run backward, the unity restored. The entry in my Tractate is accurate; time is headed toward unity and negentropy. The metasomakosmos is the primordial unitary entelechy shattered in the moment of cosmogensis, by the beginning of time; it is carried


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11-7-80 5

into fragmentation by time; but time is irreal (cf Plato and Kant). So it only appears to be fragmented; it's possible for the percipient to see the primordial unity restored, as restored; it has not actually been shattered. It's a matter of seeming. In the morphologically-arranged realm outside of time and space it is intact. No wonder I saw the world of Acts; I actually regressed in time to that world -- literally. This is simply so incredible that even though I (finally) understand that it could be and now it could be I simply cannot really react. We are dealing here with perhaps the ultimate mystery, wisdom, gnostis, the inner sanctum of spiritual actions and knowledge and technique and experience, this regressus ad uterum that takes you back to the primordial Chaos before the moment that time burst into reality and the Creation occurred. The point I am trying to make is that Platonist metaphysics, as I have analyzed them, shows that this is not a mere impression that one is traveling backward (retrograde) in time; it is actually so. But it is not an easy process to induce; it is difficult and quite rare, virtually unknown in the West, if not essentially totally unknown. Only a very unusual set of circumstances could start it into motion. To see Brahman there is one route and one route only: this cosmic resorption, this regression ad originem. I must understand what I am saying, here: this is the only way --THE ONLY WAY-- that multiplicity can turn into the primordial unity of Brahman, is if you regress along what I have called (mistakenly) the phylogenic axis of time: seeing "the inverse process of Creation." That primordial unity has been shattered by time, by the work of time, but time is not real (in a certain sense). This is the reason one can regress ad originem; if time were real one could not. This is why Platonist metaphysics must be understood if one is to understand how this regression ad originem could literally actually be accomplished... "until all is reabsorbed into the Great Brahman," which is what I called Valis. This "lifting of the occlusion" that I have spoken of for six years and eight months, in which Valis became no longer camouflaged -- it was no longer camouflaged because I had regressed ad originem, "witnessed the inverse of the process of Creation." So the lifting of the occlusion did not come for any reason that I could figure out EXCEPT THAT I FELT RESTORED TO MY PREFALLEN STATE, and in that I was absolutely correct. Well, was it worth my not giving up on this exegesis, this attempt to understand what happened in 2-3-7 and how and why? Certainly. Absolutely. Beyond any doubt. Even if


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So Satan served me up a sophisticated world in accord with my epistemological expectations (as expressed in my 10 volume meta novel) + I took this to be God + worshiped it, which is not only delusion - although a subtle delusion - but blasphemy; but in doing this 1) Satan revealed to me a great deal about world (although he led me to believe it was God, not world); + 2) Because of the infinitude of my theorizing I reached God anyhow - + this is an example of the triumph of God the wise horn of the dialectic; so: 3) The dialectic revealed to me is the entropic world-process; but also: 4) The dialectic is God in combat with Satan + God always wins; winning me (as expressed in 11-17-80) is an example: Satan's delusions led me to God in the end (through the "infinity" route; viz: as God said, "where there is infinity, there is God; where there is God, there is infinity"). Thus my exegesis has been futile, has been delusion, +: has been a hell-chore (as I was beginning to realize, but God delivered me from it, from my own exegesis; + he pointed out the one truth in it: the infinity expressed in it was - but this was overlooked by Satan who does not possess absolute knowledge - a road to God, + did lead there; but only when I recognized the exegesis as futile + a hell-chore + delusion. Hence God permitted this deluding by Satan, knowing it would end.



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