So there is a striking parallel -a logical, structural parallel- between 3-74 + 11-17-80, but in another, more profound respect the two are mirror opposites - since the first is a vision of world (which I thought was God, yet it was not, + so it yielded no knowledge directly about God, but only inferential knowledge that he existed + that he had saved me - in pronoia) + the second is a genuine theophany. When one realizes that world + God are wholly other to each other (Satan rules world) then this mirror opposite situation can be appreciated. Let me add, too, that total revelation about world does not yield knowledge of God. God entered when I became aware that my theorizing was carrying me into an infinite regress, which is to say, when I became exhausted - at which point enantiodromia occurred; intellect had proven futile + yet, paradoxically, it had led to God - but due to God's volitional initiative. His (as I call it) taking the field, which is an inbreaking by the divine. The circumstances under which the theophany occurred (I gave up on the exegesis + kicked back + massively turned on) are not capricious causes but follow the logic of the dialectic along several axes. This shows the hauntingly eerie paradoxical (almost seemingly whimsical or playful) nature of enlightenment: it comes to you only when you cease to pursue it, when you totally + finally give up.
Another way of putting this is to say that the answer lies in the least likely place, where you are least likely to look. This is what gave rise to zen. Yet, emerging from this maze of paradox + mirror opposites, of seeming, + infinite change, here, finally, is the answer I sought, the goal I sought. + it is where I started from back in high school in my physics final when I prayed to God, the Christian God - who was always there, leading me to him. My guess in "VR" - that it was YHWH - was correct. But it wasn't a guess: it was what the AI voice told me. Always, faintly + distantly but clearly, the AI voice pointed the way to the truth. It knew the answer from the beginning, + spoke in the spirit of God. (Ruah.) Through it I figured out that Valis was not God but reality perturbed by God. + knew, then, that I had not found God after all. My great discovery, then, was not in knowing what I had found, but facing the fact of what I had not found - the very thing I was searching for. Ironies abound. But the playfulness ended in infinity, exhaustion + the great reversal. The goal was reached, + the journey did not begin in 1974. It began in high school during that physics test when I first heard the AI voice. 35 years!
I note that earlier in my exegesis I express confidence that Valis -the macrometasomakosmos + "second signal" is the Cosmic Christ com-
God said that I couldn't know with certainty, but, instead, to watch where the computer punch cards piled up. Okay.
(1) As late as 11-16-80 (the day Ray arrived) I theorized that Valis was the macrometasomakosmos and the "second signal" and that this was the Cosmic Christ, not disguised as an invader in our universe but assembling itself out of our universe. So here you have the Cosmic Christ, seen in 3-74. (2) In my anamnesis I remembered being a Christian, of the first century C.E. This was "Thomas." He brought with him the original sacraments of the apostolic secret church. (3) On 11-17-80 I experienced a theophany and God turned out to be the Christian God, of love (his nature was love). He told me that my problem was that I could not believe I had seen him, specifically him, in 3-74. (4) Small details. Disinhibition by the Christian fish sign. The Acts material in TEARS. Seeing the world of ACTS. Remembering the supratemporal eidos of the secret underground revolutionary Christians, of which I am one, battling the Black Iron Prison; what I call realm #3 or morphological arrangement.
The first three; let us consider. (1) possibility that Valis (the macrometasomakosmos and "second signal") are the Cosmic Christ. (2) Thomas was a secret early Christian. (3) When God revealed himself to me in a theophany he was the Christian God, specifically.
Don't these all fit together? Look at how the computer punch cards fall; look at the distribution. (3) is proved; He proved who he was by causing me to experience infinite bliss. Oh Yes: Regarding (4), the AI voice's initial statement was, "St. Sophia will be born again; she wasn't acceptable before." Another small item. How do the computer punch cards fall now, with that addition? Mention of St. Sophia (Christ), the Christian God -- who told me that my theorizing in the exegesis was not logical but infinitely creative; and he would take the field and block my endless speculation. Isn't (1) and (2) verified by (3), which is a known? Can't I work backward from (3) to especially (1), which is to say, Valis, the macrometasomakosmos, the "second signal" (vide entry dated 11-16-80)? I would say yes; yes I can.
as unreal, but something replaced it, a sort of timeless matrix. If this timeless matrix is the Form world then Plato is right; if this matrix is Brahman then pan-Indian thought is right. My question would be, Just how irreal did the flux world, the spatiotemporal world, seem? Merely semireal? If so, then Plato is pointed to. I have held this belief for several months, but just lately I have come to the conclusion that a more radical acosmism was involved, in which case pan-Indian thought --which is to say world as maya-- is pointed to. The fact is, even though I myself experienced the anamnesis that Plato refers to (I mean 2-74) I am still not sure what I remembered; it seemed to have to do with another life but it was a life here and now, not there and then, so it was not memory in the usual sense of the word. I've said this time and time again in this exegesis, but it is like when you remember that you have left the burner on under the coffee pot; this deals with something going on right now, and yet memory is involved, or, more precisely, the loss of forgetfulness. If indeed that other life is here and now, then in effect you are cut loose from spatiotemporality as such, because if that other life is here and now, rather than back there and back then, this has profound epistemological significance. If what you remember has to do with a former life --in the past, at another place-- there is not any real epistemological significance. This is why I say in VALIS, "It has nothing to do with reincarnation. Either my body is in two places at once, or my body is nowhere at all." Such concepts as here, now, there, then -- all this vanishes, and you are (I guess) in another realm, the realm of the timeless. Does this point to Platonist metaphysics or pan-Indian Brahmanism? I'm not sure. But what is certain is that upon this anamnesis you no longer view the spatiotemporal world as you have been viewing it. Why you could understand this but not be able to put the concept into words I cannot at all fathom. Perhaps it is too primary, a basic orientation, a basic way of relating to reality. It is soo primary and so profound that there is no ready verbal concept that will express it. But it does deal with recollection, with recovered memory which is a form of knowledge, a sudden vast insight about world: about what is not real (spatiotemporality) and, conversely, what is (either the Form world or Brahman). At this point I choose the latter. I think that what you realize is, simply, "Tat tvam asi." It's that profound. It is the Atman-Brahman identification. And I say this because there is something else that you realize: your own identity. Possibly this
I am going to stick with my theory of entropic + negentropic times, each the reverse of the other, + quote my U.K. speech + the Tractate (both based on my subjective insight experience in 3-74): that normally we are blind, occluded, + see the universe + especially time inside out + backward, i.e. wrongly. + that in 3-74 I was seeing the universe + time correctly: reversed (negentropic time, running in reverse): the mirror opposite of appearance. This normal view would constitute the Great Lie, the primary delusion by Satan: a lie on a titanic scale: not only does he involve us in semireal spatiotemporality (which Plato + the Oriental religions handle) but (unsuspected, as far as I know) he causes us to see change process in reverse: from Form to disorder. Backward! So we are occluded from seeing the activity of the Cosmic Christ, the construction of the (his) macrometasomakosmos that has been going on for 2000 years. This is specifically how Satan deludes + cuts us off from Christ + the new creation: by causing us to see growth, unity + integration as entropy, disintegration, the random, the pointless. How clever. + if I understand the physical-psychological mechanism by which this is done, all Satan has to do to accomplish this
Are you tired of intrusive radio frequencies? Do you wish those bunny ears didn't require constant attention? Put your fears and frustrations aside with TransFoilent, the new metallic foil, designed for your specific transmission needs. Whether you need a little extra boost in signal or need to block out extraneous voices, TransFoilent makes the perfect tin foil hat! But don't take our word for it, here what others have to say.
*Best when used with your own discretion
Pages that refer to Exegesis:
Page 1 (Exegesis)
Page 3 (Exegesis)
folder 22 - 029 (exegesis)
folder 22 - 030 (Exegesis)
folder 22 - 030 (Exegesis)
folder 22 - 030 (Exegesis)
folder 01 - 017 (Exegesis)
folder 01 - 072 (exegesis)
folder 01 - 099 (tractate)
folder 01 - 151 (Tractate)
folder 01 - 164 (exegesis)
folder 01 - 166 (the exegesis)
folder 01 - 167 (the exegesis)
folder 02 - 001 (Exegesis)
folder 02 - 052 (exegesis)
folder 02 - 065 (exegesis)
folder 02 - 066 (exegesis)
Subject articles that refer to Exegesis: