An entity whose very essence is to know, must know itself first of all, + if involving itself, first, in an illusory creation + then making that creation real + after that reassimilating it - well, this is the price intelligere pays. + for it, it's worth it. + to the extent that we are God or analogy in microform of God, it is worth it for us, as I myself can testify to. Then the striving to know + to understand that make up 2-3-74 + this exegesis, the exegesis as quest, is divine intellegere seeking to penetrate the mystery that it posed for itself in the first place - + is the essential activity of the divine, an expression of its nature: to know, +, specifically, to know itself from an external, objective standpoint - which necessitates a schism in it, in itself undesirable, but having an outcome justifying it as a strategy for self-awareness. My awareness of Valis, then, is divine self-awareness in process. Regarding sin: the Savior does not really sinful man exonerate - because in fact he is not sinful in the first place; but he is subject to world-rule (heimarmene) which is retributive, like the law. The solution is to dupe the retributive machinery + to awaken the person from illusion, the world-rule which is itself illusory - based on an illusory world. Exculpation is real, but it is exculpation of man as victim, not as sinner. Exculpation from a rule that man is subject to, unnecessarily.
all the time, antithetically, like exhalation + inhalation: "I am the breath of my creator, + as he breathes (the dialectic) I live". Note: Creating (the act of) equals disintegration + differentiation. It is only after exhaustion that memory returns; reintegration is not creating although the macrometasomakosmos comes into existence; this would seem like the act of creation, but it is not; it comes into being like a film of an explosion run backward - + here was my key (to retrograde time + its significance; it is creation in reverse; i.e. "cosmic resorption"!) This "even down to the ants" is why one first moksa in 3rd grade had to do with the beetle I was tormenting: "tat tvam asi" literally! I created the phosphene graphics involuntarily (in my identity as Macro-Brahma; I could not refrain from the act of cosmogenesis. It got -it had gotten- out of my control a month before when I created the hologram Acts AD 45 out of my self! The Golden Fish sign simply triggered this creative act off, due to the pentathol, + hence my ability to control myself as creator of world. This exegesis, e.g. is not analytical but an endless generation (creation) of an infinity of new ideas. They just
appeared was not complex + illusive enough to satisfy me, so Satan obliged: with world that would satisfy me emotionally + intellectually. (+ in doing so, burdened me with the hell-labor of this exegesis). (But God reached out to me in my self-generated delusions + led me to him by virtue of the infinity of theories I found myself producing; he told me what this infinitude of theories pointed to. Despite Satan's craft, this path -the path Satan designed- led me to God; why? Because then, 6,5 years after 3-74 + what I mistook as theophany, God did reveal himself to me, + the truth. So it all served a good end. What I say is that God always wins every human soul in the end, by whatever route; more, I say that everything that ever happened to you + that you did led you to God + was for that purpose. World plays no other role, finally, when all is known + understood. World is a plantation in which men grow to God. God designs each step through the dual aspects of ordaining + allowing, to bring men to him. There is free will, + men can sin. I have sinned in this exegesis; it is one vast ediface of hubris, of Satan in me questioning + accusing. + I finally began to realize it; I prayed to be delivered from it. 3-74 was some vast enantiodromia in which I pulled reality inside out, used up + hence froze time, saw the past (Acts) + the future (the second signal) so it was a great feat. But it was still reality: epistemology + not even metaphysics, + no theology - world rightly seen - but not God.
pleting itself in reintegrative negentropic (retrograde) time out of the disintegrated entropic universe of plurality - + also I state that "seeing the 'second signal'" + Valis + the macrometasomakosmos is the way humans will later on see (experience) reality. These insights should not be disregarded even though I designate Valis as world + not as God, not a theophany. The resolution of these two views ("it is the Cosmic Christ" + "it is the world as we will see it in the future) is: the world is being converted into the Cosmic Christ - Point Omega, as Teilhard de Chardin speaks of (more properly as the captivity epistles of Paul speak of). This is the reintegration of world but world reabsorbed back into the Godhead through Christ - cosmic resorption. (This is Prajapati reintegrating himself.) In other words, the way people will eventually see world is as -under the aspect of- the Cosmic Christ (Valis, the macrometasomakosmos, the "second signal"). Hence, the Savior is still to come. Even though I saw Valis he is not here yet; there was a collapse of spatiotemporality for me, as related earlier in this exegesis. I saw it before it happened. I saw-when I saw Valis- the future of the world. (This is the morphological arrangement, realm #3.) Either I broke through to it or it broke through to me: I used up all that remains of entropic time (before exhaustion due to its reaching infinite velocity converts it by enantiodromia into negentropic time, hence reintegration + unity.). There wasn't much left. I would say that the Savior (St. Sophia) is almost here + indeed the AI voice now says that the
Here's a strange theory. The extent to which you are aware of Valis governing reality cannot be separated from the proportional degree that you are in the Kingdom [Note] (more accurately Kingship). Because you interact as a subfield with the macro-field generated by Valis: this assumes what I call "a cosmos within a universe" or two conflicting realities. But I would think that for this awareness to exist Christ would have to disclose Valis to you (or the Spirit would have to) ("I am the narrow gate").
[Note] No; the degree that you are in the Kingdom cannot be separated from the degree that you are aware of Valis governing reality. Neither is cause or effect; they are two sides of the same thing. This goes to what the E. of S-F about my definition of reality: it is what you perceive it to be. For me, 3-74 was the in-breaking of this Kingship into my idios kosmos hence my perception of it simultaneously. Although I do not see it clearly now, I sense its presence + purposeful nature.
An examination of my exegesis shows that during the last two months (Oct + Nov) I suddenly began to get real answers - based on my breakthrough regarding meta-abstracting (as I call it) + the realization of what I call "morphological arrangement"; this led through a rapid series of insights (including the identification of Valis + the "second signal" with the macrometasomakosmos), cosmic resorption hence entropic + negentropic time (time read either way) ending with (on 11-16) an identification of Valis as the Cosmic Christ - but not seen as the higher invading the lower, but rather the lower evolving into the higher. [Here] I think I
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