Dashboard | Log in | Sign Up | FAQ

Search results for "mental illness" madness*

Folder 9


Page 2

wasnâ??t experiencing anything at all. Sites of his brain were being selectively stimulated by tight energy-beams emanating from far off, perhaps millions of miles away. These selective brain site stimulations generated in his head the impressionâ??for himâ??that he was seeing and hearing words, pictures, figures of people, in short God, or as Fat liked to call it, the Logos. But, really, he truly imagined he experienced these things. They resembled holograms. What struck me was the oddity of a lunatic discounting his hallucinations in this sophisticated manner: Fat had intellectually dealt himself out of the Game of Madness while still enjoying its sights and sounds. In effect, he no longer claimed that what he experienced was really there. Did this indicate he had begun to sober up? Hardly. Now he held the idea that 'they' or God or someone owned a long-range very tight information rich beam of energy focused on Fatâ??s head. In this I saw no improvement, but it did represent a change. Fat

folder 21


folder 21 - 025


writing (inc "MITHC" esp.) there is a preoccupation with fakes + the fake: fake worlds, fake humans, fake objects, fake time, etc. "The authentic human vs the android or reflex machine" is the essence of it. Again + again I attempt to formulate criteria for what is fake + what is not fake, in every area, from a comic book to a world leader to a girl friend to an entire universe. "Things are seldom what they seem" - right. It has to do with reality testing, which is related to another theme of mine: mental illness (which brings in hallucinations) + deliberate deception (v "Penultimate Truth," "The Simulacra," "Game Players of Titan" etc, novels I usually overlook. + mental illness brings in "Martian Time-Slip," "Dr Bloodmoney," "The Simulacra," "Clans." So virtually all of my writing interlocks at this substratum.)

I count 21 books (inc story collections) in which fake vs real is in some way the topic. 22, if "Japed" is included, plus a number of unanthologized stories. In "Sheep" for instance, fake vs real operates on 5 levels:

1) Fake (synthetic) moods (electronically generated) 2) Fake animals (machines) 3) Fake humans (androids) (inc. Fake memories + identity) 4) Fake savior (old wino movie bit player) 5) Fake police station (part of world)

+ in "MITHC" there are deliberately faked objects - in a world the totality of which may be fake (i.e. in which the axis won WWII!)

folder 20


folder 20 - 046


down the "criminal virus" or as I think it to be, the poison. Mercury is an antidote to syphilis: Hal told me my genius was due to paresis. The effects of Substance D resemble tertiary syphilis. But it was Hal (Barris) who showed the impaired (pseudo) brilliance depicted in "Scanner." The cereal box dream was alluding to "Scanner," that I had the key in that book. Have I not supra written, "my writing is a detoxifying agent" - like mercury? Or - Is mercury the symbol for the toxin or the antidote? Well, mercury is double edged; in measured doses it is medicine (antitoxin); in unmeasured amounts it is a toxin - this is a venerable principle in medicine, certainly known to Paracelsus. Jeter says, "the fucked-up dopers -on Substance D- were the only ones who correctly understood the reality situation." I suspect Dionysos is involved here: madness - genius. Are the "sane" really the insane? Dionysos: the mad (i.e. crazy) god. Maybe he is in touch with reality + what we see when sane is not real. Christ, Dionysos, the "enthusiasmos" of the shaman, of possession by the Holy Spirit. Schizophrenia: the right hemisphere. There is where the truth, + lost faculties lie. (v. "Scanner" - this is specifically stated - + the origins of dreams ("psychosis while asleep" or conversely, schizophrenia is awake dreaming.) Then what's missing is right hem. parity. Bilateral parity. Well, again, "Scanner" is correct. Half our brain is cut off. The bicameral voice! The "Sibyl" - Julian Jaynes.

Folder 02


folder 02 - 055

"Siddhartha" is the sleeping soul sub-section mind of this calcified section. [Note] "St. Sophia" is the soul of the totality: its voice + wisdom. St. Sophia speaks to the sleeping Siddhartha, in order to awaken him + thus lift this calcified section back to growth + flexibility, + of course consciousness. Thus it can be said that at present St. Sophia is outside of (absent from) this section, + will return upon the sleeping Siddhartha's awakening, at which point he will again _know_. (This _section_ will again know.) Since there has never been a period in human history in which this section has not been calcified - asleep - we have no basis by which to imagine the magnitude of the transformation which is coming. "Siddhartha" is merely human, but St. Sophia is equal to the Godhead itself (+ could never be said to be asleep). Enlightenment (e.g. the dibba cakkhu, anamnesis, the ajna chakra etc) is given _to_ Siddhartha _by_ St. Sophia. Siddhartha hears her voice, which is man being called to by God, finally she wakes him. In micro form I experienced this, +, through it, understood the macro situation ("what is below is an analog of what is above" + "tat tvam asi". Some (or much) of the message traffic which I saw might be St. Sophia's calling to "Siddhartha". Disinhibiting stimuli invading our closed simulated clock run push-pull worlds.

[Note] This section died. It became fossilized, + merely repeats itself. This is scary; it is like mental illness. "One day nothing new never entered his mind - + the last thought just recirculated endlessly". Thus death rules here, which explains Paul's "mystery" in 1 Cor. The BIP is the form of this death, its embodiment - of what is wrong, here. To see it is to see the ailment, the complex which warps all other thoughts to it: the imperial levelling

Folder 90


folder 90 - 063



I risked madness + death + terrible punishment in order for a moment to read the Book - with the ajna eye that I stole from Yaldabaoth, Lord (creator) of the world. I read the information that world is based on. I learned the secret from the Sibyl, the secret hidden from mankind. St. Sophia, Christ, Kyrios Pantocrator, is here; the Parousia is here. I told mankind, it can't be undone; I defeated world-fate (the Norns) by my heroic act; even Wotan, master of the runes who traded an eye for wisdom, could not do that. I overcame the Norns, the spinners of fate, + stole the secret kept from mankind; I am not a hero but the hero: I did this with Dionysos' aid. He rebels + bursts the prison. We did it; we killed the monster, stole the eye, read the Book of Fate, learned the hidden secret, stole it + gave it to mankind, + freed them with/by knowledge. We the Gods defeated Fate (Erda, the Norns). It was Wotan who conversed with me on 11-17-80. This was his plan: to use me to steal the 3rd eye from the Sibyl, read the Book + learn the secret. + give it to man. So I am Siegfried; the Knights Templer [Note] have succeeded in their plot through me. Via my writing - my books.

[Note] The Gnostics.


mental illness

NEW! From the makers of UBIK comes: TransFoilent

Read pages that mention mental illness in all works.

Graph of subjects related to mental illness

Pages that refer to mental illness:

Page 3 (mental illness)
Page 3 (mental illness)
Page 4 (madness)
Page 4 (madness)
folder 01 - 071 (madness)
folder 53 - 020 (madness)
folder 53 - 022 (madness)
folder 53 - 023 (madness)

Subject articles that refer to mental illness: